Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Closeness Podcast. My name is Tari. I'm your host, and today we're going to tap into what it feels like and what it looks like when a woman is in love with you. But equally as important, how to then also reciprocate a talent and skill many of us need a little help with.
I can't think of a more special or important episode to make. It's probably one of the most near and dear things to me in my.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: Life and one of the things that matters me most.
[00:00:26] Speaker A: Our lives today move at such a fast pace. We're going from one thing to the next, and it's sometimes hard to get present and notice little things like a look or a glance or what's happening underneath the surface. When a woman is in love with us, it's an incredible gift, and it can make us feel like we're on top of the world. But as many of you know, it can be and feel very fleeting. Sometimes it lasts a moment, sometimes it only lasts a few years. Sometimes the arguments and disagreements and stress.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: Kicks in and it feels like we've lost it.
And I've always thought it's a little.
[00:01:01] Speaker A: Bizarre because sometimes couples will come and see me and they have all these problems and sometimes seemingly can't stand each other. And I'll say, why do you want to stay together? And they say, because we love each.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Other, or because I love him or her.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: And even in that statement, I want to push further and say, how? What do you love about this person? And then oftentimes people can give a list of things and a partner will be surprised.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: I didn't know she or he still.
[00:01:25] Speaker B: Felt that way about me.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: But for me, if you really want to feel love and know love, it's not about the list that they keep for you or what they think about.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: You in their head.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: To me, one of the best parts of feeling love from a woman is precisely that feeling it, seeing it, experiencing it, and of course, living it and.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Knowing it, not some idea that she.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: Has in her head. What's the point of being in love, feeling love, or experiencing it? And it may be wise to ask yourself, if you're in relationship right now, how do I Show and demonstrate to my partner that I'm in love with.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Them or that I truly, deeply love them?
[00:02:01] Speaker A: So today I want to talk to you about those things that make love feel so special. When a woman is in love with you, what it looks like and what.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: It feels like, to borrow a well known phrase, with great power comes great responsibility.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: It's true. You cannot take it for granted. You cannot take it for granted. I think probably men, you can agree if you've been loved by a woman before. Maybe one of the things you miss most. If you're single or with someone who doesn't love you as much, or you remember someone from your past, or you're in this situation with your partner right.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: Now that doesn't feel as loving that way.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: That she puts her hands on you or glides her hands over your chest or runs them softly up and down your back. The way she looks at you, holds you, or gets all cuddly and snuggly with you.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: There's nothing else like it in the world.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: It's also very important to know what it looks like if a woman is in love with you. Because I think oftentimes both partners are sometimes tolerating a relationship that they don't need to be in any longer, or that needs some serious reevaluation or some spicing up, or some discussions need to be had. It's not why I specifically made this episode, but it is an important caveat to recognize. Do I feel love from my partner? Do I get these things from my partner?
[00:03:18] Speaker B: Do I experience this?
[00:03:19] Speaker A: You know, women, even though I think they believe that they ask for very little, oftentimes have, well, let's just call it for fun, an infinity list of what men are expected to do for and to them. Love them, protect them, ravish them, make them feel secure, keep them safe, support them. Oftentimes provide for them. Be of a certain height or stature, or look, take her on dates, take her out. And as men, I think many would agree that we don't expect a whole lot or have a large laundry list of needs. In fact, some men don't even think.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: They ask anything of their partner.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: But typically, some qualities that Men want, well, we want to feel attracted to her. We want her to be friendly towards us. We'd like her to want to have sex with us. Not to do it out of pity or necessity or wifey obligation.
[00:04:08] Speaker B: We want her respect.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: We want to feel like she likes us and wants to be with us. And I think many men out there are, well, both sexes are, in some relationships, taking scraps. This episode is more geared towards men understanding what love looks like. But I think many men are just tolerating being with someone because that's what he knows or that's the default, or that's what worked or that's who he wound up with. And I think that if you're not feeling love on a regular basis from your partner in a way that you can visually or emotionally feel and see.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: That a discussion needs to be had.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Is there more than just her saying, I love you? You know I love you? Of course I love you. Do you feel it?
[00:04:51] Speaker B: Do you live it?
[00:04:52] Speaker A: I, for one know I could never be with a woman who does not love me deeply and whose love I can't feel regularly. And it's actually important for me to feel that from her, which just means in some way, like knowing things are fine or that we're good or that we're close. I would even say probably on a daily basis. I think when things are really good, if several days go by and things are neutral, that's fine. But the love has to be there. The energy, the care, the connection, the.
[00:05:21] Speaker B: Desire to be with one another.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: I don't need it minute to minute. I don't need hundreds of phone calls and texts and constant reminders, even if it's very endearing, and I do appreciate it. But in her interactions with me, in the way that she addresses me, talks to me, especially the way she looks at me, the way that she engages with me sexually or sensually, it's important to me to feel that she wants me, desires me, respects me, likes me, chooses me over everyone else, because that, as far as I am concerned, is the way that it works best in relationship for both partners to be happy.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: And get what they want.
You know, when you're at a restaurant.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: You see people on dates, or you go on dates and you can tell where a woman's attention is. Is she always on her phone? Does she look at him much? Is she checking out other people? Does she want to be there?
[00:06:14] Speaker B: Is she more concerned with herself than anyone else?
[00:06:16] Speaker A: You can always tell right away if you feel bad for the guy, you think, oof, she really doesn't want to be there. That's not attractive. No man wants to be in the company of a woman who doesn't want to be there with him, or who's bored or distracted or irritated or annoyed.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: Or resentful or frustrated.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: No one wants to feel like a chump, or that a woman's taking advantage of him, or that she's just there because. Or he's providing for her and nothing else. We want to feel respected, valued, and loved as well.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: So I think this episode is going.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: To be a really great reminder for everyone about what love can look like. And your version certainly doesn't have to look anything like my version. But I do hope that it inspires you. I hope that it makes you want to lean into love, the love that you may have now or have lost over the years, or to find love again, to rekindle it in your current.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: Relationship, and to inspire both partners to want to dive into what love can be.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: We talk so much about hot sex and passionate sex on this channel, and I know you love that. But one of the greatest ways that we can experience that is when your.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: Female partner loves you and when she.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: Is, which happens to be number one.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: On our list today, deferential.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Deferential towards you. Your choices, what you want and where you want to lead the relationship.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: Now, as with all episodes, I have to give immediate disclaimers and qualifications for this statement.
[00:07:43] Speaker A: This does not mean that you just take control. Tell her what to do in every aspect of her life. Don't take her desires under consideration and.
[00:07:51] Speaker B: Do whatever you want because it pleases you.
[00:07:54] Speaker A: That would be selfish, arrogant, obnoxious, unnecessary, and totally tank a relationship.
And I'm also not talking about those unique BDSM style relationships where a woman actually does crave exactly that. You make all the choices, you decide everything. Maybe where she's your submissive, but that, again, is something that she allows you to do. And in that, there's all sorts of incent at play and understanding, just like in a traditional relationship, that you have her deepest, best interest in mind.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: So regardless of the kind of relationship or marriage that you're in, it is.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Imperative that you know your partner, you understand her, you know what she wants, what she likes, what she desires. So if she is deferential towards you and puts the power in your hands and says, you decide, I want whatever you want, I'll go wherever you want, I'll do whatever you want. In the extreme scenarios, or simply, hey, I'm open. If you want me to come to you, I will. If you want to come to me, that's great.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: I don't care where we go to dinner tonight.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: Whatever the choice or decision is, if she's going to be deferential towards you, you have to have her best interest in mind, not just your own. It should never in a partnership be a selfish decision unless one of you has requested that of the other person, and that might look like, please do whatever you want.
[00:09:13] Speaker B: I'm really happy to do anything. Make the choice.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Whatever you want is fine with me.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: Those types of words mean, yes, be selfish, choose for yourself, enjoy what you want to do.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: So how does it actually look when.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: Your partner is deferential towards you?
[00:09:27] Speaker A: One interesting way to think of it is as a form of submissiveness, a willingness to do whatever you might like.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: With her, for her, to her, a.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Willingness to put the decision making power into your hands. It's an extremely sweet, incredible thing, but it has a very, very important component to it that I think men don't often realize is also their responsibility. You don't just get to do whatever you want because she's a woman. You don't just get to have your way with her or make all the choices because you're the man. And that's how it goes. It has reciprocity. There's a necessary reciprocation that has to be included in this agreement. And I think in many relationships, either people are unaware of it or it's unspoken. So I cannot emphasize enough how important.
[00:10:13] Speaker B: It is for you to care for.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: What she wants when you do this. So anytime a woman says to me.
[00:10:19] Speaker B: For example, you choose, I'm happy to do whatever you want. You choose where we want to eat. You order for me.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: My first thought is never, oh, goody, what do I want tonight? How do I want to eat? Regardless of taking her desires into consideration, and if she wants me to decide, well, I had better be well versed on the subjects for which she is.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Surrendering power and would like a decision to be made.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: I would never recommend to a man who is not really into food or doesn't really know good restaurants in the area, or doesn't really know his partner's likes and desires to jump in and say, sounds good, I got this. I'll take care of it. But then just to take a wild guess or point aimlessly at the menu and say, I guess she'll have the steak, but you didn't realize she's not eating red meat. Or she'll have the salad, but she's a heavy carnivore. You want to know enough about your.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Partner, which doesn't take much, by the way.
[00:11:10] Speaker A: This doesn't mean you need to know them for 20 years to figure this stuff out. It could be a couple of weeks.
[00:11:14] Speaker B: Or even a few months. You want to know her well enough.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: To be able to make a decision that will please and delight her, which.
[00:11:22] Speaker B: Then reinforces trust, her ability to admire you and respect you and her ability.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: To love you more. Because she's like, wow, he knew exactly what I wanted. He surprised me. It also doesn't need to be a guessing game. Like she says, I'll have whatever you want. And you're like, oh, my God, I really have no idea. And you just take a wild guess without asking her any questions like, well, does this sound good or does that sound good? That's fine as well. It's a big turn on and attention getter for me when a woman says to me, you know what I like, Tari, just get us whatever you want. I trust you. Order whatever you want for us. My ears perk up. I'm like, ah, an opportunity to say, thank you, baby, or, yeah, you got it, I'll take care of it. And then delight her with a meal. Do you know that sometimes when you choose something to eat for her and she loves it, it's almost as though you've cooked for her yourself, so it can actually be a lot of fun, and you're looking for her to defer. Defer means whatever you want. I'm okay with it. However you want to do it, I'm fine. That is a gift. And your gift back to her is.
[00:12:26] Speaker B: Making sure she enjoys the experience as well.
Please take a moment to let those words sink in.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: Now, one of my favorite ways to do this, and I've actually never spoken about this before, but it's a really simple way to make sure you both enjoy the night. So if any woman is deferential to me and we're going to do something or eat something, I like to consider what I like as well, not just what she likes. So many men have this idea that I either have to do everything for my wife the way she wants it, or I have to be extremely selfish for myself, because that's being a man, and the answer is always in between.
It may sound very simple and easy, but I don't think a lot of people do this. So, for example, if I know that my girlfriend loves seafood, but let's say for me, I know that I don't want to have a really low end experience. Not saying that she does either, but, for example, I don't want to eat at a fast food restaurant. Maybe I want something upper end and upscale, or maybe I don't feel like driving into downtown tonight, so I'm going to look for something closer to us. I take my desires into consideration as well while looking for something that features.
[00:13:28] Speaker B: A really handsome seafood selection.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: Or maybe your wife or girlfriend craves a relaxing day and needs a spa day, but you're not into it and you want to book some time away together. I would book us out for a few days where maybe I'd join her for a massage once or spend a little bit of time with her in the spa. And then leave her to enjoy it or treat her to more treatments, or have her order room service while I might go windsurfing, golfing, whatever it is that you want to do as a man, it's about finding win win scenarios. There doesn't always have to be sacrifice and compromise in order to have a wonderful time with your partner. Someone doesn't have to miss out. You can do things that are fun and enjoyable for both of you. And I think that's an incredible skill set. To develop, is to be able to know what those things are and quickly decide them, organize them, and plan them so that everybody's having a fun time, not just giving her what she likes or doing something exclusively for yourself.
The second way that you can know if your partner is in love with you is the very fact that she.
[00:14:34] Speaker B: Looks at you when you're talking.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: She looks at you when you're talking to someone else. She looks at you when you're not aware of yourself, that you're talking and maybe looking in different directions as you are. As she's listening, she's looking in your direction and paying attention to you.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: I see this a lot with my clients.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: A lot of men struggle with eye.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: Contact, and certainly there are women who.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: Are super, super shy and reserved, and.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: They'Re working on their eye contact as well. But generally speaking, in a session when.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: A man is communicating, she is deferring to him and giving him eye contact and paying attention to what he has to say, not just sitting there quietly listening or facing forward.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: And she's moving her eye contact between myself and him.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: Oftentimes when a man is speaking, he doesn't even look in his wife's or girlfriend's direction at all. Hardly ever. Sometimes I'll watch five or ten minutes go by, and she'll maybe get a glance while he stares forward or stares down.
Men, how do you imagine your partner feels if you can't even look her in the eyes and you can't even.
[00:15:38] Speaker B: Give her the time of day?
[00:15:41] Speaker A: And what's worse is that this informs me that a lot of couples live life like this. They talk to each other in other rooms, or staring at the TV, or just simply staring in another direction.
And in session, I understand. If someone's facing me, they're telling me, or looking me in the eyes when they're explaining something.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: It's fine in the office, but women.
[00:16:03] Speaker A: Don'T seem to have a problem when they really care about their partners by looking at their man. And so men, the tip here and the advice here is look back, look at what you're missing, because it's a double whammy. Not only are you connecting with her, but it feels better to look at her. She trusts you more, and it actually feels like you're creating closeness.
[00:16:22] Speaker B: Triple, quadruple whammy.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: I personally think that if you are not looking at your wife or girlfriend, that you are missing something to the order of at least half or more.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: Of the excitement, the connection.
[00:16:36] Speaker A: I might even say you're missing 70%. You're missing everything about what's going on by not looking at your partner and not reciprocating.
Number three is very similar, but a little more subtle. And that's the way that she looks at you. So having her look at you is one, and then the way that she looks at you is another.
This one is really beautiful to me. And unfortunately, there are times, so many.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: Times, when men will miss it because.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: She'S looking at you longingly or admiring.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: You, but from a bit of a distance.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: Maybe when you're not paying attention, maybe when you actually are on an important phone call or talking to someone else or making reservations, and she's just watching.
[00:17:21] Speaker B: You and observing you.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Being able to tune into this takes an exceptional amount of awareness and presence and a bit of broader perspective. As men, we're very narrow in our focus.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: We focus on what's important, the direct thing in front of our eyes. We don't often use our peripheral vision.
[00:17:40] Speaker A: We're not often aware of other things.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: That are going on while we're focused.
And so I like to think that.
[00:17:47] Speaker A: If your woman is in the room, if she's near you and around you, you should have awareness of her always, by the way, this is also something.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: That makes her feel safe and loved.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: And wants to pour more love in you do. You start to see how these things are very reciprocal?
[00:18:04] Speaker B: She gives of herself, you protect, you.
[00:18:08] Speaker A: Have awareness of you pay attention, you give her attention.
And then she wants to do more of that, wants to look at you.
[00:18:15] Speaker B: More, be with you more, spend more time with you.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: So if you catch her gazing at you, looking at you, you kind of sense that her head is looking in your direction while you're doing something. But it doesn't seem important to you.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: You're just fixing the car or cooking a meal or taking care of the kids.
[00:18:33] Speaker A: It's probably because she's looking at you with love, care. And what will become our fourth way to know whether your woman is in love with you or not.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: Her admiration, the way your female partner.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: Looks at you, sexually, intimately, if she's shy, if she's gazing in your direction, frankly, if she's just paying attention to you and looking in your eyes, I think is a way to gauge of whether she likes you or loves you or not.
If you look in a woman's eyes and you see her softness, her vulnerability, or the fact that she's really aroused by you, or the fact that she is turned on by looking at your face or your body, or the way you dress, or the way you put together, or the way you handle yourself in a room, the way you handle your business, the way you interact with your employees or coworkers, and especially this is a really hard one for men to notice, but this is often where a female partner will find her.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Man most attractive is in a social.
[00:19:40] Speaker A: Setting with a little more distance than something that's intimate.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: So that doesn't mean that you are.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: In a small, huddled group and you introduce her to some of your other friends or coworkers, and she thinks to herself, oh, my gosh, she's amazing. But when she observes you at a bit of a distance, say, 15 to 30ft across the room, and she likes the way you're carrying yourself, or the way you're interacting with others, not being arrogant, not showing off, not trying to make yourself seem all important, but if you're exuding confidence and presence and warmth, tendErness, compassion, sometimes power, sometimes dominance, and she can see that from across the way, she's getting aroused, excited, turned on, and that is a way to know that she's in love with you. So sometimes you might hear a guy or girl give you feedback. The way your wife was looking at you across the room, I wish you could have seen. It was amazing. And there again, sort of having this awareness of glancing up and looking over.
[00:20:42] Speaker B: In her direction and giving her a wink or a smile or an intense.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: Gaze or a passionate smolder, and just.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: Knowing that, you know, also very sexually exciting for her.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: So the next one is, as I alluded to earlier, admiration. She admires you. Admiration and maybe respect. Oftentimes this will come out with her delight. You see it in her face or eyes. You made her something by hand, or you created a cake from scratch, or you surprised her with something that she loves. Or you took the time to get the dry cleaning on the way home so she didn't have to, you took.
[00:21:23] Speaker B: Something off her plate. Or she sees you in your element.
[00:21:27] Speaker A: Living your purpose, whatever it is that you do. And she admires that work. She respects what you do, she respects who you are. In your community. That's another way that a woman shows you her love, her care, and her appreciation. And again, that's something that you usually see in her eyes. Admiration doesn't always come with instant compliments. Like, you're so amazing, I admire you so much. I've always looked up to you. I mean, these are things that usually someone says to a celebrity or an author, so you don't always hear it immediately. But you do see it in the way that she's engaged with you and the way that she trusts what you're saying. Are you with a girlfriend or wife.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Who'S constantly correcting you?
[00:22:08] Speaker A: Now, by the way, this can be a personality flaw, not necessarily only in women, right? Men and women do this as well. But is she always correcting you, quick to jump down your throat, disagreeing with everything that you say? This could mean that you are with an extremely disagreeable woman. Someone who's not pleasant to be around, someone who disagrees with anything. No matter what they say and who they are, they always have to be right. That's an option.
But sometimes it could be because as men, we make bad choices, or choices that don't have the family's best interests in mind, or her best interests in mind, or extremely selfish or are destructive. Simple example, she says, do you want to spend some time together tonight? And you say, I just want to chill and relax. And so you chew tobacco or smoke cigarettes or smoke weed or do cocaine or get wasted or play video games or just sit in front of the TV or just watch 5 hours of shows or binge on food. Both sexes have numerous qualities that overlap.
[00:23:11] Speaker B: Certainly, that are not very attractive.
[00:23:14] Speaker A: Certainly those types of behaviors aren't going to garner her admiration.
Sometimes women are wired to admire you. And I won't speak too much about this, but when you break the rules.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: When you don't conform, when you go against the grain, when you do something that everybody else isn't doing.
[00:23:37] Speaker A: Now, she may say, that's dangerous. I can't believe you did that. Oh, my gosh. You shouldn't do that. But then when you do it, she's.
[00:23:45] Speaker B: Wet or turned on or excited.
[00:23:48] Speaker A: Not all women have this response, but you'll see it often. Arousal in you going against the grain, horniness in you finding another way. And I'm not suggesting that you need to break the law, and I'm certainly not suggesting that you violate other people's boundaries. But there are many ways to go against the grain or be a little unconventional. That can be very attractive and even very sexually attractive, including in the way that you dress.
All right, number five. And where would we be if we.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: Didn'T talk about a sexual reference?
She wants to have sex with you.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: She wants it. She yearns for it. She craves it. She may even want to have sex with you more than you want to.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: Have sex with her.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: And for ladies listening, that doesn't mean your man is not into you, or that he doesn't like you. It just means that I think a very natural response for a woman when she's in love with her man is to want sexual intimacy, to want to get fucked by him so well that.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: She can't see straight.
Now, this is a glaring difference between.
[00:24:50] Speaker A: This and one where she tolerates you having sex with her, allows you to have sex with her, deals with, puts up with a relationship where you feel.
[00:25:01] Speaker B: Like you have to beg for it, ask for it.
[00:25:04] Speaker A: A relationship where you're discouraged and you don't understand why your wife doesn't want to have sex with you. And by the way, there are many reasons that go into this.
[00:25:12] Speaker B: Not just she doesn't love you, but.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: The point I'm trying to make here is that when she is in love with you, the sex comes easily. When the respect is there, the admiration, when she feels deferential towards you, the way she looks at you, her eye contact. When you're feeling all those things, the natural unfolding is that she wants to be naked, she wants you to be.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Inside of her, and she wants you to please her.
[00:25:37] Speaker A: And here again, that reciprocal nature, if.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: She opens to that degree with you.
[00:25:43] Speaker A: And all you do is have sex with her in a way that's just you thrusting in and out until you get off, or you having an orgasm, or you putting in minimal effort to make her come once and then being.
[00:25:53] Speaker B: Done, or you not being able to.
[00:25:55] Speaker A: Last a very long time, not working.
[00:25:57] Speaker B: On that, or you're a very selfish.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Lover, you are not reciprocating in the relationship, it's pretty incredible. A woman gives you her love, and it feels like something that flows naturally out of her. So one could almost say that she doesn't do much. It's not like she has to go out of her way to try to love you, right? Or buy you gifts, or do things for you. And I'm not suggesting that women don't do incredible things for men that they're in love with, including gifts and such. But when a woman is in love with you, she just loves you.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: And how that looks is that she.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Allows love to flow out of her a very natural thing, a very feminine thing.
She offers herself to you very much in the way she would when she wants to seduce you or she wants to have sex with you. So she's making the first move.
[00:26:52] Speaker B: She makes herself available, like we spoke about in the last episode.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: She shows her availability. She gives herself to you. And then, as a man, we then usually take the action forward. We seduce, we kiss, touch, move it forward, undress her, put ourselves inside of her, kiss her passionately, take her that kind of energy. Similarly here, when she loves you, and then therefore she wants to have sex with you and gives herself to you, we then have to take sort of physical action. We don't just show our love back by being friendly and sweet. I can't tell you how many men make that mistake. They think because they're nice to their wives, that she's going to love him more or be there for him more, or want to have sex with him. And it doesn't work that way. It's not about being nice and sweet, even though that is very nice. Certainly doting on her and caressing her are certainly ways to show love. But in the sexual sense, we then have to do something.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: We have to thrust in a very specific way.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: To hit all of those juicy spots.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: And nerve endings in many different directions.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: And in different positions. And with eye contact and with presence. We have to give physically of ourselves back to her. And that's that reciprocal nature of intimacy and sexual intimacy.
[00:28:09] Speaker B: So she wants to have sex with you.
[00:28:12] Speaker A: And this plays out. I've experienced, at least, no matter how horny and sexual I am, she often wants to do it much more and for much longer and more in depth than even your favorite sex coach likes to go. Sometimes I like to experiment and go for an hour or longer, try to wear her out. Connection, eye contact, positions, intensity. Orgasms spilling over and over and over again. And it never ceases to amaze me that she's always ready for more. A few minutes later, later that night, the next morning, I am forever amazed by a woman's insatiability and desire to have more sex and connect.
Now, much like number three was the way she looks at you. NumBer six is the way that she.
[00:29:00] Speaker B: Has sex with you. Now, I'm going to go out on.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: A limb here and share a funny little aside. To me. Sometimes the way a woman has sex with you when she is in love with you smacks a little bit of the way a woman will have sex.
[00:29:13] Speaker B: With you when she's just met you.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: But she's really really attracted to you.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: And really, really, really wants to fuck you.
[00:29:20] Speaker A: A similar kind of energy that she might exude when she knows she wants.
[00:29:24] Speaker B: To have a casual encounter or a.
[00:29:26] Speaker A: One or two or three night stand, some sort of hookup. But the attraction and the chemistry is there. Okay. Sometimes when a woman first meets someone, she may sleep with him for the wrong reasons, not necessarily because she's feeling.
[00:29:38] Speaker B: Super attracted or into him.
[00:29:40] Speaker A: And those types of hookups are generally pretty unfulfilling to women, right? It leaves them feeling very empty. It's why you see on dating profiles.
[00:29:48] Speaker B: Not looking for a hookup, not looking for sex.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: But there are those types of hookups that are so passionate and intense because she is with someone who she perceives to be, well, at the very least, of higher value or higher status. Maybe he's extremely attractive to her in some way, someone who she's got great chemistry with, or who's taking incredible care of her sexually or just turning her out. In situations like this, a woman will often do things that she maybe normally wouldn't do with a boyfriend or husband.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: Or something like that, such as going down on you, letting you go down.
[00:30:24] Speaker A: On her, which is a very intimate.
[00:30:26] Speaker B: Thing, having anal sex, her opening herself.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: Physically or sexually in a way that she normally wouldn't like, giving more of.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: Herself, moaning more, allowing herself to squirt.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: Trying different positions, going for a certain amount of time. And by the way, ladies, it's an extremely frustrating thing to your boyfriend or husband if he knows that you have a past and have done things in the past with other men. When I say for free, I mean without the cost of relationship and protection and being taken care of or marrying you. You've tried all these things sexually, but now you're magically not like that anymore. Or he can't have access to you in that way. It's extremely frustrating, your choice, for sure.
[00:31:06] Speaker B: But extremely frustrating to a man.
Now, when a woman is in love.
[00:31:10] Speaker A: With you, it's extremely special. It's a wonderful thing for her to want to have sex with you or fuck you in all these different ways. And I'm not trying to minimize that at all by saying it's the same thing as a casual hookup or a one night stand. But many of you men who have been in long term relationships know that your woman holds out in certain ways like that, or she may not want to be that way, or she's not inspired to be that way. So I'm actually saying it's a really good thing that if she's in love with you. She's showing you similar behavior that she would show someone when she has lust for them and strong, powerful desire, and that in a long term relationship, is.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: A really, really good thing.
[00:31:50] Speaker A: There are several ways that a woman can feel attracted to a man.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: One can be physical.
[00:31:55] Speaker A: We have an incredible body, and she really likes that. Your body type really resonates with her. She thinks you're beautiful, or she thinks you're incredibly talented. Women really do like attractive men. Tons of women love Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Gosling. Physical attraction actually does matter very much to women, especially sexually.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: But if you're in a long term, committed relationship, sometimes your physicality or your.
[00:32:19] Speaker A: Physical attractiveness is not the only thing that counts or matters, and not the only thing that's going to excite her to have sex with you. In fact, it oftentimes may not be the way you look that does it for her. It really is the case for men. Men generally need, despite what women may want, men generally need to feel physical sexual attraction when they look at their female partner. They need to see at least something that they like or that turns them.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: On, ideally, the whole package.
[00:32:46] Speaker A: And it often is not the case for men. Well, I love her so much. I've known her for so long. I'vE been with her all these years, it makes me want to have sex with her. Whereas for women, and these are generalizations, right? They're not set in stone, they're not ironclad laws, but generally does mean often.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: Or most of the time.
[00:33:06] Speaker A: But for women, often, her respect for you, her admiration, her noticing that you have a very high status in the world, the fact that you take care of her, the way you treat the kids, whatever it is, many things can.
[00:33:18] Speaker B: Help her feel sexual attraction towards you.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: So when she's in love with you, the way that she will allow you to have sex with her is so different than the day to day complacent. That time again. Tick off a box. It feels like a chore, feels like something else I have to do. I don't think about it. I don't crave it, I don't want it. If you're in that kind of situation, whether you're a man or woman, you really need to have a talk or come in for help and come see me, because it's just like a nightmare place to be sexually. It's okay to have lulls. And if you've been in a relationship for 10, 15, 20 years, you know.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: You'Ve had some lulls.
[00:33:56] Speaker A: But if sex always just feels like something else to do or checking off a list. To me, that is a symptom in part of her not being in love with you anymore, not feeling that attraction.
[00:34:08] Speaker B: And that connection with you.
[00:34:10] Speaker A: She doesn't feel connected to you in that way. One of the symptoms.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: There are many reasons why this can happen, okay?
[00:34:18] Speaker A: But when she is in love with you, because this is meant to be an uplifting podcast, the way she will have sex with you, I mean, sky's the limit. What would you like to do? How would you like to have her? What position would you like to put her in? What would you like to do with her? What kind of intensity would you like to give her? That same reciprocity applies. Her willingness to let you do anything to her requires that you reciprocate by not going too far, by not hurting her, by not damaging trust.
But that doesn't mean you can't get really freaky or really kinky.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: It doesn't mean you can't get really intense with hEr.
[00:34:55] Speaker A: But her willingness to share herself with you like that, requires that you show up as the man and also be.
[00:35:01] Speaker B: Dominant, confident, assertive, read the room, read.
[00:35:05] Speaker A: Her body language, last a long enough time. Give her orgasms.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: A willingness on her end to do.
[00:35:13] Speaker B: Almost anything with you, to try different positions, to be playful with you, to hold herself open for you, to allow you to come in her, on her.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: In her mouth, in different places. I know that's not for everybody. I get it. Something that I don't think a man has ever thought about, at least a straight man, is what kind of vulnerability is required to just put yourself in different positions.
And I actually would like to invite all men to try this so you understand what your female partner goes through when she's with you.
Try getting naked by yourself one day and lay on your back in missionary position.
Open your legs wide as a guy and pull your knees back towards your ears and hold your legs open and just feel naked. What that feels like to be open, spread out and that vulnerable.
[00:36:13] Speaker B: I bet you're even wincing just thinking about it.
And then try and get on your.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: Hands and knees and do the same thing. Oh, and by the way, arch your back so it looks good. And open your knees super wide and throw your hair back or contort yourself back. Try to look at whoever would be behind you.
See if you can move through some sexual positions by yourself when no one's.
[00:36:35] Speaker B: Watching, and see how confident and comfortable.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: And sexual you feel. Can you actually be confident with your eye contact if someone were looking at you with how you feel exposed like that.
Now, imagine that she's behind you, just being playful, not trying to make it anything that it's not. Not trying to make you feel so deeply uncomfortable that you question your own sexuality here. But we're just playing around, right? She's behind you, and she's like, yeah, here's what it feels like.
[00:37:04] Speaker B: Let me show you.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Now, imagine that she's, like, rough in a way that doesn't make you feel comfortable, like slamming up against you or hitting you or choking you out or pulling on your hair in a way that's just obnoxious.
In fact, part two of this exercise would be to actually play with your female partner and have her do these things to you just for fun, like.
[00:37:26] Speaker B: A good game of Twister.
[00:37:28] Speaker A: Now, if you're a woman listening and you think to yourself, oh, my God, if I ever see my man in any vulnerable position like this or behaving like me, I would never find him attractive again.
[00:37:37] Speaker B: By all means, don't do it. But I do point this out to.
[00:37:40] Speaker A: Men all the time when we're working on different positions in the office, or he wants to do certain things with her, I say, you have to know how to reciprocate and handle her if she's going to get on her hands and knees for you, or throw a leg up against the wall or straddle you and ride you. Or have her open and missionary in 20 different positions. It's not just exclusively for you to enjoy however you want it as though it's yours. When you have deep love and connection with a woman, yes, there'll be times where she says, do whatever you want to me, have your way with me, but you have to give back in a way that's attractive. And so sometimes I ask men, I said, do you want to be in that position? Do you want to try and sit there like that and just feel how many seconds go by until it feels awkward or weird? It happens really fast. And that's why oftentimes women go straight in their head, or they can't get out of their head because they're sitting there in these positions. But what's being delivered isn't matching the intensity or her desired outcome. You have to take care of your.
[00:38:42] Speaker B: Partner in a way that she likes it.
[00:38:45] Speaker A: You have to keep her engaged with.
[00:38:47] Speaker B: Your sexuality and your dominance and your.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: Confidence in leading her through an experience, or else she's going to feel weird with her legs open or her ass in the air or her legs spread wide. The takeaway here is that you have to understand that none of this can.
[00:39:03] Speaker B: Be taken for granted.
[00:39:05] Speaker A: A woman's love is for sure a gift.
But let's be clear here. I don't mean a woman's attention or her general affection or her giving you the time of day. I actually mean her Love. When she's really in love with you and gives her heart to you. If you don't appreciate, give back, handle with care or roughness, if that's what's required.
[00:39:27] Speaker B: You're liable to lose it.
[00:39:28] Speaker A: And she's not Going to continue to just freely give you that gift.
[00:39:32] Speaker B: I think so many of you are.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: In these relationships and marriages.
[00:39:35] Speaker B: BeCAuse you had that gift. And You didn't savor it.
[00:39:39] Speaker A: And you didn't know what to do with it.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: You didn't know how to handle it.
[00:39:42] Speaker A: So now you're in a Situation where she used to want sex with you all the time. Now she never does. And now you're the one who's begging for it and asking for it. You don't understand what happened. I think you've lost some of that.
I can't answer for everyone here, obviously. And certainly there are men who know exactly what to do and how to seduce and how to interact with her. And you still may be in a Situation like that.
[00:40:05] Speaker B: But I think that's a part of it for a lot of people.
Think about it.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: Everyone loves sex. Everyone loves great sex. Sex feels good. It's energizing. It's incredible. I mean, you don't Need Me to list the Benefits of it for you. And the places you can go with.
[00:40:19] Speaker B: It is Just Outrageous.
[00:40:21] Speaker A: I think it makes being alive well worth it.
Why wouldn't a woman want to have.
[00:40:30] Speaker B: Sex all the time?
[00:40:32] Speaker A: Her breasts are Sensitive, her waist, her hips. She has a clit. I mean, just that alone. She has the ability to squirt or ejaculate. And have different types of orgasmS. Intravaginal, external. All these toys. I mean, God, it's like a woman is made and built, you've heard me.
[00:40:49] Speaker B: Say, for sexual pleasure.
[00:40:52] Speaker A: Why then WOuld she not want TO BE Having IT WIth YOu IN RelaTIonShip?
So I can't emphasize enough that it's not merely about knowing or saying, she wants me, she likes me, she's into me, she loves me. It's about the Giving back, the balance, the yin, the yang. That's what creates A HealThy, balanced RelaTIOnShiP.
AnOther Very Beautiful AND easy WAy TO Know ThAt YOur Woman IS In Love with you. IS that SHe leaves you little notes, little mementos, little things that made her think of you. She'll write you a handwritten letter. Oh, my favorite. When a woman takes the time to write me a letter by hand, to me, it shows that she cares by putting in a little effort and not sending yet another text.
So much of women getting attention today, in today's society is about her thinking to herself, how can I put in the absolute minimum amount of effort while still gaining the absolute maximum of light? Like looking bored in a photo or just sticking your tongue out like live streaming while she's sleeping and still having people watch, tune in and like, very little investment, if any.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: But lots and lots of reward back.
[00:42:05] Speaker A: Because I know about myself that I'm a very generous and giving person. I'm a very present guy. I love to give of myself to my partner. When I see that she does these little things back, like write me a little love letter or a postit note, or just anything written by hand, it makes all the difference in the world. It shows that she loves me and.
[00:42:25] Speaker B: That she cares and is thinking about me.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: Another good one to add on here, you might call it seven a are pet names. And certainly these can exist outside of being head over heels in love. But taking the time to think of a cute, sweet name, that's very endearing. Sometimes pet names could sound like different animals. Or she might speak in a baby voice with you, or she might get extremely soft and delicate, or have certain little isms that are unique to her, or just your and her language.
All of those things make love feel so good.
All right, number eight, the 8th way that a woman shows you that she's in love with you is interestingly, by.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: Buying you gifts or picking up little.
[00:43:09] Speaker A: Things at the store that made her think of you, or bringing something home.
[00:43:13] Speaker B: That she knows you'll love, or bringing.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: You your favorite kind of food, or even cooking you your favorite kind of food. Or cooking for you, bringing you groceries, bringing you something when you're not feeling well, like making you homemade soup, or even picking you up something from the store. All of these things revolve around generosity and again, giving of herself.
Now, if you're with someone who doesn't make a ton of money, any generosity in that department is even more special because it's like, wow, I know you're not making a lot. I know you're working hard right now and you still thought to buy me.
[00:43:47] Speaker B: This drink, take care of this snack.
[00:43:48] Speaker A: Pick up this meal, get this ticket.
[00:43:51] Speaker B: Take us to lunch once in a while.
[00:43:53] Speaker A: That kind of generosity shows that she's very invested and you can be a provider. You can be the one who takes care of things Most of the time and still appreciate when she does these little things. By the way, a lot of men like to steamroll and say, you'll pay for nothing. I'll take care of everything. But you miss those genuine moments when she wants to do something sweet or.
[00:44:12] Speaker B: Give back to you, especially if you don't appreciate it.
[00:44:16] Speaker A: Now, let's say one or both of you makes a ton of money. You're both very successful financially, then the gifts tend to become a lot more generous and extravagant. It may look like taking a special.
[00:44:26] Speaker B: Trip together or a very generous piece of jewelry or clothing or something very special and designer.
[00:44:33] Speaker A: It could look like a super gourmet.
[00:44:34] Speaker B: Meal or a phenomenal restaurant.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: Again, it's that giving of herself, which, as we know, especially in today's day and age, there are plenty of independent women out there. That's great. But it's not the norm for a woman to want to provide for a man in that way. Usually women want to be provided for. Not all of you. In fact, I've dated women who don't want to be that way at all. They can do it all themselves.
[00:44:54] Speaker B: That's fine.
[00:44:55] Speaker A: But because the responsibility usually falls on the man for support and providing and taking care of and buying everything and.
[00:45:02] Speaker B: Paying for everything, I personally think that.
[00:45:05] Speaker A: When a woman shows her generosity financially, it's a very special and unusual and rare gift and certainly a way that demonstrates that she very much is in love with you. And again, not one to be taken lightly. It's never something to expect. You should never just offhandedly say, oh, yeah, thanks for dinner, whatever, it should be recognized and noticed. I mean, similarly, I think women should.
[00:45:27] Speaker B: Treat men the same way, but to.
[00:45:29] Speaker A: Actually look in her eyes and say, that was so nice. That was so thoughtful. This means a lot to me that you did this.
[00:45:34] Speaker B: Thank you. It doesn't always have to be about.
[00:45:37] Speaker A: Oh, God, I'm not being masculine if I'm not taking care of everything. No, some of our pseudospiritual community may disagree with me on this. I'm just saying it doesn't need to be all the time. It doesn't have to be a constant. These types of moments where a woman or a female partner is inspired to take care of you in some way, I think are a very clear indicator.
[00:45:55] Speaker B: Of her love and care for you.
[00:46:02] Speaker A: All right. The 9th way a woman shows you that she's in love with you and likes you is she calls you, texts you, wants to talk to you and.
[00:46:11] Speaker B: Wants to be around you all the time. Like all the time.
[00:46:17] Speaker A: She wants to spend quality time with you. She wants to know your family and connect with the people who are important to you.
[00:46:24] Speaker B: She wants to be around you.
[00:46:26] Speaker A: She runs ideas by you. She texts you just to see what you're up to and how you're doing, or because she's thinking about you. She sends you photos of herself.
She sends you sexual photos of herself. She sends you pictures of her naked, or pictures of her smiling or little selfies of her to brighten your day. These types of things are really, really nice. And again, these long term relationships. You've been together with someone years and years. I actually think if you haven't done this for years or you've never done.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: It, no time like the present.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: I don't care if you've been together.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: With someone for 15 or 20 years.
[00:47:01] Speaker A: If you're attracted to them and you like them, why not start flirting and courting each other the way you did when you first started dating? Or the way you did in previous.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: Relationships or with other people that you've had sex with?
[00:47:13] Speaker A: Why would you not want to have.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: Those kinds of interactions? Now?
[00:47:17] Speaker A: I will say there are occasional women who like a good selfie from a guy. Very, very few women like or want dick pics, although I do know several who do.
Generally, sending selfies back as a man to a woman doesn't always carry the same weight or effect. Women don't usually appreciate them as much or like them as much. Even if you've got ripped abs or a shredded six pack or. Or whatever, there are moments for sure where it can be very arousing, but we have to do it carefully, and we have to think about this a little more than women do. Women can almost send us any angle, any shot of whatever she's doing. And if his little boobs are button there or thigh or she looks really cute, we're into it. But as men, we need to be a little more careful with it.
What is an appropriate response to her.
[00:48:00] Speaker B: Sending you a selfie?
[00:48:02] Speaker A: Do you always have to be, oh, my gosh. Wow. You're so beautiful. I love it. Thank you. Oh, appreciate you said no.
You can make a comment about it and send a heart. But then I think that day or that moment, or if she's within the vicinity, finding her and being sexually intimate with her, or appreciating her beauty through touch kiss admiration can be a really.
[00:48:26] Speaker B: Really nice way to reciprocate.
[00:48:32] Speaker A: The 10th way that a woman shows you. Her love is by giving you her softness.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Her softness?
[00:48:42] Speaker A: What does that look like? So often in the hard, cold world, a woman has to do battle day to day. She has to get done up with makeup. The softness that she gives you when she's in love means that she's comfortable enough around you to be relaxed, chill, not necessarily all done up, be seen without makeup, be in a very comfortable state with you. Now, I know that can be taken a little to the extreme, and I think sometimes even wives get frustrated with themselves. They're always moping around in sweats or just in athleisure. And this can be read as not putting in effort. But I also think softness can mean not poised or acting or being someone she's not. In. One of my much, much earlier podcasts in season one, I called it the Kardashian effect, where rather than a woman just being herself, every single expression, action, or word is expressed by first asking herself, how can I look more sexual or desirable, or even fussy, or like I have an attitude, or like I'm fierce? How can I look indifferent, apathetic, or like I really don't care? So they layer on these personality traits when speaking, trying to be cute or trying to be sexy, or trying to sound important, as opposed to just being herself. Her softness comes out in her willingness to be naked around you. It comes out in her willingness to do a photo shoot with you.
[00:50:04] Speaker B: Or maybe for you.
[00:50:05] Speaker A: Her softness and vulnerability comes out in.
[00:50:08] Speaker B: Her verbalizing, I would marry you. I would let you have me forever.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: I would be with you forever. There's no one else I'd rather be with but you.
I want to make babies with you.
I would give you children.
These incredibly delicious and vulnerable expressions of love are not to be taken lightly. They mean something.
[00:50:31] Speaker B: They matter.
[00:50:33] Speaker A: How do you reciprocate even if you're.
[00:50:36] Speaker B: Not feeling the same way?
[00:50:39] Speaker A: Well, if she says something as exquisite as that, you can still tell her, I love you so much. I love you, too. Thank you.
[00:50:45] Speaker B: That means everything to me.
Number eleven.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: And we've touched on the sexual thing here, but I feel like it's important.
[00:50:54] Speaker B: To add she wants to be sexual.
[00:50:58] Speaker A: Even when you're not having sex. She wants to be sexual around you. Maybe by showing you her breasts or playing with them in front of you. Maybe by being naked or taking naked photos of herself or just running around the house naked. Maybe by taking sexy or sexual videos for you, sending you things that turn you on and excite you. She might let you take selfies of her where she's naked or doing certain provocative things. She may even be curious about recording the two of you having sex, provided it stays on her phone or stays on a hard drive or something like that. This harkens back to what I'm always talking about, creating that atmosphere of sexuality in the house.
Because she's in love with you and because you're her partner, she wants you to be the one that opens her. And she wants to feel pretty and beautiful and sexual and free and experience.
[00:51:47] Speaker B: All the delicious things in life.
[00:51:50] Speaker A: And that leads us to the 12th way. You can tell if your partner's in love with you, and that's through continuously exchanging fun videos, memes, cute cat videos, fun things. And you have to be aware here, some people share this type of content with their friends, with their family. I definitely send my sister and my mom, my dad cat videos all the time. Sometimes I'll share things with friends who live in different parts of the world, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with these friends. It doesn't mean I'm sleeping with these friends. It doesn't mean I'm sexually interested. However, having that ability to do it with your partner, though it may not be exclusive to them, that constant exchange of cute things definitely builds and brings closeness.
Lucky number 13 is a really important one.
[00:52:34] Speaker B: And that's the idea that she shows up for you.
She shows up for you when it.
[00:52:40] Speaker A: Counts, and we need to do this for her as well. But, man, when a woman does it, is it special and amazing. Maybe it's your soccer game or your baseball game, and you really want her to be there to watch you play. And she shows up, maybe even more than once. Maybe you're not well, and she shows up to nurse you or take care of you or help you back to health, as opposed to her saying, I don't want to get sick, I don't.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: Want to be around you when you're sick.
[00:53:05] Speaker A: She brings you things like delicate little gift baskets of supplements and sprays and balms to help you get better. She thinks about you and cares for you and nurtures you and it feels so good and so special.
[00:53:19] Speaker B: She shows up for you if you're.
[00:53:20] Speaker A: In trouble or if you're in the.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: Hospital or if something goes really wrong.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: As men, these types of extreme things don't happen to us very often. It's not often she needs to come to the hospital, for goodness sake, or how often are we really sick. But those times when we need her, or those times when she knows that something is important to us, she shows up. And furthermore, if she's super lovey dovey, she shows up all the time.
Sometimes she may sacrifice or compromise her schedule or plans to be there for you. And by the way, if you do.
[00:53:53] Speaker B: This to her as a man, it.
[00:53:55] Speaker A: Will really, really make her feel like you care and you love her and support her. She may put some of her other priorities aside. I'm not suggesting that's a good habit. I'm not saying, women, you need to do this, but she may compromise things that are important to her and come to see you instead of doing some of the things that maybe were important to her.
[00:54:13] Speaker B: And again, I don't think it should.
[00:54:14] Speaker A: Always be a sacrifice. I don't think it has to be a sacrifice or compromise at all. But you will often see that she does this. And again, because you can't read woman's mind and she's not going to say, hey, I sacrificed and compromised this, this and that to be with you today, especially when things are good, she'll likely just show up.
[00:54:29] Speaker B: It's actually incredibly important to recognize and.
[00:54:33] Speaker A: Acknowledge that, you know, she has a busy schedule and she's choosing these things over doing something else. She's choosing to be with you and that's incredibly special.
[00:54:45] Speaker B: I'd be remiss.
[00:54:46] Speaker A: Not to mention her ability to have fun with you, play with you, tease you, joke with you, flirt with you. Some couples do this through sarcasm. Some couples do it through flirtatiousness, which I think is one of the most important qualities in keeping a long term relationship successful and sexual. But playfulness and fun, cutesy stuff. Stuff that makes you laugh or giggle. Her finding you funny, that's a really big one. Her laughing at your jokes when she's really in love with you or really, really turned on by you, you could say almost anything and she'll find it extremely amusing. Never underestimate the power of humor. And of course, I will always give the caveat that at some point, if you're going to be sexual, it's not.
[00:55:32] Speaker B: That sex always has to be serious. But women do need to see that.
[00:55:36] Speaker A: You take sex seriously, that you have an intention and you're not going to break down laughing or giggling or getting silly. That when it's time to do the.
[00:55:47] Speaker B: Deed, that you mean it.
[00:55:48] Speaker A: That you want to do it. Because there, even though you can have moments of sex being funny, or the occasional sexual experience where it's just giggly and silly, and she may even remember that as super fun and awesome, it's not what you want to bring to the table on a day to day basis. So be funny, be playful, be flirtatious, even in foreplay or whatever sometimes. But know that when you are actually being sexual or intimate or moving it towards sexuality, it's not that you can't laugh, it's not that you can't have fun. But there has to be sort of.
[00:56:18] Speaker B: A confidence to it.
[00:56:20] Speaker A: And sometimes silliness can act as a bit of a deterrent and present as.
[00:56:25] Speaker B: Lack of confidence or not being confident to a woman.
[00:56:30] Speaker A: Now, there might be additional ways that you can tell when your female partner is in love with you, and I'd certainly love to hear from you if you think there are. But the 15th way you can tell is when her family and her friends and her therapists and her furry animals know about you and like you. They like you because she's so happy with you. They like you because they see how happy you make her. It's an especially a good sign if her friends, and this is just a little bit of a sidebar, are attracted to you or admire you as well, or find you attractive. Because then it's like a nice feedback loop of you're with a great guy, you're with someone who you should stay with, you're with someone who you should invest in. And getting buy in from family and friends is important. Now, boy, do I know that that's not always possible. And some people have a very estranged relationship with their parents. Some people, of course, don't have parents, unfortunately. And some people have friends who just really aren't into your guy. But it's not a good thing. It's not a good look. If your female partner has friends who are always telling her, I don't know about that guy, I don't know what.
[00:57:38] Speaker B: You'Re seeing him, I don't know why you're with him.
[00:57:40] Speaker A: Or if her therapist has an issue with you assuming you've met him or her and interacted with them a bunch of times, right? So buy in from all around social proof people. Her showing them that she's into you is a really great sign. Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love. And there's so many ways you can interact with someone and show them that you love them. There's so many ways to receive love. In fact, if you're watching this on YouTube, I invite you to leave a comment below and let me know some of your favorite ways that you like to be loved or feel love from a woman. Or if you are a woman how you like to show your love for a man? Is it through baking and cooking? Is it through long walks on the beach together during sunset? Do you write about him in your journal? Do you do some of the things that we discussed in this podcast? And I wonder, is it through allowing yourself to be extremely submissive and or feminine with him?
Thank you for listening to this very special podcast on Love. I hope you have enjoyed the episode immensely. If it resonated with you, please share it with your friends and family. Don't forget how important it is to subscribe. It's a very easy thing to do, either on YouTube or anywhere else that you listen to podcasts.
And of course, whether you're in San Diego or you live somewhere else in the world and you want to fly in for a visit or book a session online, please visit my website, cravecloseness.com forward Slash Intake. You're also welcome to come in without filling out an intake form. It's a super simple process and I'll look forward to meeting you hopefully sometime in person.
[00:59:12] Speaker B: Thank you for listening and have a great day.
