Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00 Welcome to episode number 44 of the closest podcast, the female sexual response cycle. My name is Tari and I'll be your host for this evening. This is definitely going to be one of the more juicy, explicit episodes you can listen to, so parental guidance is suggested and it's not for the faint of heart. Today we're going to talk about what happens to a woman's body, mind and soul. As she gets more and more and more and more turned on. Conversations like this are very interesting. Even though they're exciting and arousing and really provocative, it is extremely difficult for most people to have a conversation about what really, really hot sex is, what it looks like, what the different phases of it are and how to know when you're having it. We're going to break this down into different stages, approximately 10 in total. To do this effectively, the first one we have to look at is a phase where you actually don't want to spend much of your time at all if at all possible.
Speaker 0 00:57 It's a place that you either want to get out of, immediately cease what you're doing or escalate with full consent to the next level. And that is the uncertainty phase. This is an area where even a woman herself might have a difficult time explaining to you. It may never come up through all of your relationships. It may never come up to you later and after you've had sex and it may never appear even after you are an ex, but it certainly will come up with other people and it will come up with her girlfriends. And so what I'd like to do is bridge that gap so that everybody's on the same page. Many of you might believe that once a woman is willing to have sex with you, that everything is a okay, that you can move forward and the next step would be to have sex that because she wants to in some that what more can you have than someone who wants to legally speaking.
Speaker 0 01:50 If you have consent and you've both agreed to do this, technically it is. But that's very seldom the case. The first one to three times a woman has sex with someone new and in many cases in a strange relationships, challenging relationships or interactions where there's a lot of ups and downs. You've heard me speak about in different episodes, how much goes into a girl allowing you to eat her out or a girl desiring to have sex with you or being willing to, for men it's almost an effortless task. We can do it and do it and do it, but for many women, even the most open minded of women, there's this constant fear of being judged, shamed, or made to feel like, and always remember, these are never my words made to feel like she's a slut or a whore or these types of completely derogatory sentiments that do nothing to help our expansion as humans.
Speaker 0 02:42 You heard me mention in the previous podcast that a woman's mentality is often very fluid, able to fluctuate from one subject to the next and also from one emotion to the next, including being completely happy and thrilled to being miserable and from being miserable to expressions like, I love my life in the same hour or the same day. This also transfers over to sex, things that happen in the moment on a whim or when they're just not thinking if they're intoxicated, if they're on drugs, if they're just allowing emotion to take over are often reflected back upon as being regretful or things that they wished they didn't have happen and even sadly in some situations, rewriting the facts in her own head of what actually happened, such as having a nice time seemingly in the evening and then deciding later that it wasn't such a nice time. Sometimes women the next day or weeks after, we'll believe it to be both better or worse than it actually was on that night because they've come to different thoughts and feelings about it or they'll attribute different meaning to it.
Speaker 0 03:47 That's very dangerous territory, the whole thing. Warren's a podcast unto itself, but you don't want to be caught in a place where a woman enjoys herself with you in the evening or seems to be and then completely regrets it or changes her mind or feels differently about it afterwards, or even worse during the experience. But for now, what you need to know is that the precursor to the female sexual response cycle is not just a willingness to have sex. It's an uncertainty about having sex. The precursor means here this, she doesn't know if she's ready to have sex with you yet or she knows she's not ready, but for whatever other reasons she's going through with it anyway, she's doing it, but she's not ready. You're engaged in it, but she's not even certain she wants to be there. Have you ever done something that you weren't ready to do before?
Speaker 0 04:42 Have you ever been put in a sport or an activity or been asked to do something in the kitchen or to help your parents with something or a friend with something and you just were clueless about it? You did it and you went through with it, you might've even done okay and you might've even surprised yourself at how well you did, but you really weren't ready for it. And maybe in retrospect, if it was too much, if it was too intense, you wouldn't have done it again, or you would've done it differently. And in some cases you even regret doing it. This is what happens when a woman has sex before she's ready to have sex. It's not a place of arousal. It's not a place of excitement. In some ways it's a case of her feeling convinced or obligated. For some people it's a place of her feeling pressured and other situations, it's a feeling of curiosity or intoxication or excitement.
Speaker 0 05:33 In other cases, still it can be a feeling of compliance or wanting to be more agreeable because females tend to be more agreeable and non-confrontational as opposed to men. And by the way, your partner could be feeling this, whether you've just met her or you've been together for three, five, 10 20 years. She can still feel not ready to be with you. And to make matters. There's a good chance that you will have absolutely no idea this is happening now. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own actions and choices. I will be the first to say that I'm of the strong opinion that if two people are interacting together and one person doesn't want something to happen, but that person is not showing any signs, body language, they're not using any words. They're not wincing, closing down, turning the other direction, pulling back, leaning away, resisting, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 0 06:27 No negative emotion, no resentment, nothing at all that someone might be able to understand, especially direct communication and words like, I don't want to do this right now, or maybe we should wait or let's take a breather and watch a movie or anything else. You cannot expect the other partner to be a mind reader. People are not mind readers and it does fall upon each person to say, stop. No, don't step out of the situation. Leave. Take your hands off of their body and vice versa. Step outside, leave, scream, yell cause a scene, run out the door, et cetera, et cetera. Anything that conveys that you are no longer interested. If you get the feeling that this is not going in a direction that you want it to go. Now I recommend if your partner is being super tactful and tasteful and listening to you and not being too pushy and not pressuring you into it, that you don't go from zero to a thousand.
Speaker 0 07:23 You don't go tearing out the door or yell at them or something like that, that you do it with class and kindness so that the interaction can stay sweet because presumably this is someone that you want to spend time with just to volley back and forth. The trickiest part of this is yes, a woman could actually go through with the whole thing. She could have nice orgasms, she can feel incredible, you can actually have a really good experience, but still something in her which you really have no control over at a certain point can turn the next day and she may decide that this is not for her. She regrets it. Intensity can read very differently. So this is kind of the disclaimer when you're intimate with a woman that simply because she's decided to have sex with you and it seems like it's going that way and you might even be in the beginning stages of having sex does not mean that it's all in the bag and that she's all geared up to go and that it's 100% shoe in.
Speaker 0 08:16 This is just the very first moment to know, okay, we're here now. What? How do I navigate her emotions? How do I turn her on? How do I excite her and how do I know that things are escalating? This leads us right into precursor number two, read her, read her, feel her, ask her questions, check in. Are you the kind of man or woman who when you're intimate with your partner, are you a steamroller? Do you just plow through with a one track mind? We're going to fuck, we're going to have sex because you've assumed the role of being dominant and because she's assumed the role of being submissive. Things are just happening and she's allowing them to happen, but is she really wanting them to happen? There's a big difference between allowing it and wanting it and allowing it. There's a huge difference, a difference between letting something happen out of any number of emotions, guilt, nervousness, not wanting to make someone feel bad, not wanting to rock the boat, not wanting to get someone upset, not wanting to hurt someone's feelings and on and on and on.
Speaker 0 09:29 And yes, a million of these things go through woman's head when she's evaluating if you should be or are going to be her next potential sex partner. Fortunately, people's bodies do speak and if you see closed off body language cringing, tightening up, tensing of muscles, shoulders rising, her breasts or her cheeks aren't turning rosy, red, her eyes look normal. She's maybe not looking at you. All of these things contribute to signs the demonstrate whether she's ready or not. So the second precursor is reading body language, checking in and seeing what's going on and seeing where she is. I like the phrase steamrolling because it really illustrates the lack of allowing a woman to shine. Sex is not a one way street. You do it together. It's an experience and even though most women will privately admit that they do want a man to take the lead, be more assertive and be dominant with them, it is done together and an exceptional lover is someone who can lead and be dominant while still being tuned in to the delicate intricacies of how she moves and how she's feeling in a moment, and it can shift back and forth.
Speaker 0 10:42 I think we're ready for step one. Heightened arousal. This means that you're not just going through the motions, there's kissing and then there's kissing, there's touching, and then there's touching. There's passion, and then there's passion. Where are you on the spectrum when you're kissing a woman? Try slowing down. Once in awhile, backing up, getting out of your head, being present with her, and really try to read into how her mouth is kissing you back. Are you kissing her in your just in your head or in your own world and you're just super hard? You want to have sex, you're just going through a process. Are you thinking to yourself, I'm just going to kiss her and then touch between her legs and feel her boobs and then just put it in? No, no, no, no, no, no. Because of the way sex is set up.
Speaker 0 11:34 It's always going to be that a woman allows you in no matter how much you'd like it to be an equal experience, she's always going to have the final say. So as to whether or not it happens as such, wouldn't you only want to be inside of her when she really, really you there? Wouldn't you like to when the time is right be able to slide right in effortlessly without her needing to touch herself or without her Nene to stretch out to accommodate you or without her needing to slowly ease it in because she's so turned on. Of course. And all of this starts in the very beginning phases when you're gauging her arousal, which usually is happening with a lot of kissing, heavy petting, making out really deeply looking at each other, making noises. So is she just quietly and calmly making out with you while smacking on gum or checking her phone or if her phone ring, she's grabbing it or if her eyes open and she's distracted, does she seem closed down or are you having something way more hot and passionate?
Speaker 0 12:41 It doesn't have to start with kissing. It could be just touching. However it starts. Is it mutual? Is she wanting to do things back to you or is it just a one way street? Are you just exclusively trying and prying and pushing and leaning into, or is it you who's doing all of the seducing? What's going on between the two of you? Sometimes with a shy girl, it will start out this way where it is very much about you doing her. You're getting her more and more excited, more and more turned on so that she can be more receptive to doing things with you. Part number two of the female sexual response cycle, and we're still in the beginning phases of it all. We've gone through four sections and you may be with someone who just breezes through all these sections or doesn't tick these boxes at all.
Speaker 0 13:29 She's just instantly right there. That's always nice. Or you may find that each one takes some time. We've felt into her and now we feel like it's a mutual thing. Now what happens when you start to get undressed or take each other's clothes off? Ask yourself sincerely, are you doing all the work or are her hands running all over your body trying to undo your belt or your button or your zipper or take off your underwear? Does she want to take off her clothes? Is she helping you take off her clothes? When you're in this phase, when you see that she's become an active participant and she's taking part in the process, maybe you can see how turned on she is in her eyes. Maybe you can see the excitement in the way that she looks at you. Maybe you see her smile or you see her getting turned on or she's panting or she's making noises or she's saying things like, fuck, maybe she's getting frustrated and agitated and angsty in a sexual way because things aren't moving fast enough for her.
Speaker 0 14:30 Now you start to realize, okay, I can move forward with this. It's hot, it's exciting, it's passionate. Maybe you've got some heavy making outgoing, maybe she's exploring you with her tongue. Maybe she's kissing you in different places and working on your neck or your chest. Maybe her fingertips are touching your chest or she's reaching under your shirt. Many shy girls are timid to undress you, but they might reach under or just kinda tease around your underwear line and when they're feeling responsive. Not all women are, but when they're responding like this, when it's mutual, when they are doing things back to you, hopefully when she's exploring your body or touching it or recognizing how soft your skin is or how supple your muscles are or how strong your legs are, or she's kissing your neck or smelling you or breathing you in or running her hands all over your chest or feeling your very short haircut and running her hands up and down the back of your head or looking in your eyes and giving you kisses all over.
Speaker 0 15:30 Now we're ready to slide into phase three of the female sexual response cycle. This is where things can regress just to touch possibly. I'm not a big fan of pornography, but there's nothing I find more repelling than a guy who has sex with a woman with his clothes on. He's got his fly unzipped and he's having sex with a beautiful naked woman who's being put through all these different positions. She's in such a vulnerable place and he's just like fully clothed. Same applies here. Men consider that if you're taking a woman's clothes off, she's even more vulnerable than you to begin with because she's going to be taking you inside of her and now she's naked and you're fully clothed. It's nice to do things in equal steps. So things are going well. You know, she's turned on now suddenly you're unexpectedly face to face with another confrontation, her own feelings and insecurities about her body, how she looks, how fat she feels, how an attractive she feels or how beautiful she feels.
Speaker 0 16:33 And this is largely dependent on how turned on she is. It could take a very curvaceous, juicy, delicious, sexually ripe woman who can feel completely unattractive, naked standing there with you. But once you really turned her on, she feels luscious and ready and like a woman and like she wants to be ravished, same person, different heightened state. So when you're both naked, where are you in this phase? Do you sense that her excitement is sustained? She's equally as turned on or have things taken a step backwards? Are the lights too bright? Are the windows open? Is she bringing attention to the external and are things slowing down? So this is an excellent place to check in. Yeah. Are you alright? Would you like me to change something about the room? Do you want me to do anything different? What do you need? And if you're going to be silent about it because things are going very well, but they just feel a little less intense, you can continue to take a step back and turn her on even more with more touching, kissing, licking, and of course different areas in different places.
Speaker 0 17:38 But the big thing to know here is not everybody's super comfortable naked. Not everybody loves their body and not everybody is having a great day when they're not feeling bloated or wonderful or what have you. Even though most men find the female form super attractive, more often than not, women are always feeling self conscious about their body and how they look, including skinny girls, including fit girls. There's just always something, but none of this has to matter. If she's turned on and excited enough, which doesn't necessarily mean that you have to try really hard, it means that you are present to how the experience unfolds as you get to know your partner. Does she like silence? Does she like music intensity? Does she want you to just do it and just take her and become sexual right away? Does she like something soft and gentle and delicate?
Speaker 0 18:27 First, can you be more intense and this will eventually lead us right into our next phase intensity, but before we go there, we have to discuss one more caveat that similar to a bit of a hindrance or a potential roadblock to continuing down the path of sharing incredible intimacy. I'm using language and phrases to express something that stops intimacy, but it doesn't need to be looked at as something to constantly try to overcome or even that needs to be overcome. There's nothing a woman loves more than when things appear to happen naturally. And ladies, I say appear because almost everything is calculated in a man's head to make you feel like it's just unfolding easily and effortlessly. But when roadblocks come up, when hindrances come up, it's worth paying attention to because it's something that requires some sensitivity and some care from you. So what else can happen before things get really, really, really hot?
Speaker 0 19:26 Well, the girl can be struck with a, shouldn't an eye, shouldn't. Some form of guilt feeling bad shame feel the difference in texture here. This isn't about not being ready to have sex. It's not about not even wanting to have sex. It's about something else in her head that has become very important or very meaningful or conflicting and so therefore she feels bad about going through with it. A simple example of this could be no matter how turned on someone is if you're in someone's parent's house and she's worried that her mother or father or brother or sister might here, that would be a very big reason as to why she might want to stop or might not feel ready or might not feel comfortable. Maybe you're in more of a public place or the windows are wide open or neighbors could see in or someone risks hearing her and it's not that she doesn't want to, it's not that the possibility isn't there and it's not that it couldn't be a very hot and exciting experience, but there's something else that needs to be addressed.
Speaker 0 20:31 And here again, and of course here as well, I would not recommend steamrolling through this or what I would just call foolish masculine, minimizing. It's all right, don't worry about it. It's cool. Chill out. Just relax. Take it easy. Take a deep breath. Oh, take it easy. I says, just keep your mouth quiet, honey, and ain't nobody going to hear us. I mean, come on. I mean, come on. All of these just do this derogatory pointed, meaningless advice really doesn't do a damn thing to help a woman feel better or any person for that matter. I don't know if anyone's ever been under tension or stress before and someone goes, just relax. What does that do for you? Absolutely nothing. Other reasons for her to feel like she shouldn't is that she really wants to have sex with you, but she doesn't want anyone else to find out or specific people to find out or feels that she has a commitment towards someone else, which might not even be another man.
Speaker 0 21:26 It might not even be a relationship but towards a certain friendship or what have you. That might hinder her moving forward despite her being ferociously turned on or she really wants to have sex with you, but she's had sex with someone else or even two or more people before and she's feeling really bad about being with so many people or being involved with so many people feeling a little sore or even stretched out. She could be just coming off of her period. She could be spotting a touch. She could also got to say it just feel really bloated or really gassy and not want to have her legs spread wide open with the risk of completely embarrassing herself and these things will get in the way. Whereas of course for men, we're always just like, it's our ride, it's our ride. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 0 22:07 We seem to worry about these things less, but don't forget how critical and judgmental everybody is when someone looks bad. Now what's fun, however about this part of the cycle is that there can be a lot of push and pull, a lot of give and take, a lot of building her up and then an exam aspiration that she can't go through with it and there's this one little thin layer of clothing between having sex with you and not she really, really wants to but shouldn't. She really, really wants to but can't. And that creates an incredibly fun and nice, albeit maybe frustrating a touch for women <inaudible>, but it creates far more of a frustration for men. For men, it's like excruciating and it stops there. For women it can be a very, very arousing experience. Letting this build in this passion heat up. Even if another day or another week goes by and you have that tension and you keep holding it in that place, that can be really fun until the right time strikes for you to move on to the next phase. Building intensity.
Speaker 0 23:10 Finally number four, and this is where things begin to get really intense and very uncomfortable to talk about and very uncomfortable listened to because they are super exciting but are super intimate. At some point, whether here or a little earlier or a little later, a switch is going to flip on in a woman's mind and body where she is ready to fuck, ready to be taken, ready to be ravished ready to be made, love to ready to have you inside of her, and this is a very, very different feeling than messing around, giving a blow job being turned on and excited. It's a primal, carnal switch that gets flipped. Sometimes you can bypass all the other steps and happen to find yourself right in this one because she's just so turned on by you. Now, what's going on in this phase and what erection, excuse me, direction.
Speaker 0 24:10 Are you going to take with her? Has she had an emotional day? Is she feeling vulnerable? Is she feeling not so great and being soft and sensual and gentle and slow? If so, you might guide the sexual interaction to be something more of a loving, connected bonding experience. And right here is where having sex can split off into one of two areas and you can actually fuse and meld between the two areas. Those being having sex and fucking, and I'm purposely using language like that because I want you to really hear the difference of intensity. It's not that one has to be delicate, soft romance movie making love and the other has to be pornographic, but one has a softness to it and the other has an intensity to it and both are delicious. At this point you should really know where you're leading towards and sometimes, and this can be really, really challenging as a man, if you've been with a lot of sensitive women in the past and you're trying to be sensitive with a new woman who's just really down to fuck you, you can be barking up the wrong tree by having the wrong kind of music playing or being too gentle or taking your time or really going slow and she's really wanting something like, just give it to me.
Speaker 0 25:35 What does that mean? Because these are two different States, two truly different vibrations, vibes, energetics, whatever you want to call it, acting too much like you're in one side. When you're trying to do something on the other can be very off putting. So if a girl is literally ready to fuck you, she's turned on. She wants a physical experience and only that, and you're being romantic and soft and playing really like loving R and B music, but you barely know her. If you're giving delicate cuddles and caresses, if you're talking about children, longterm relationships or you're looking very sweetly and passionately and longingly in her eyes, this can be and potentially could be a turnoff, whereas for a different vibe, a different sexual experience, it could be a really big turn on and that's where you really want to read it. If you're about to make love to your woman, if you're about to have slow, passionate sex, then this type of openness and vulnerability can be very desirable.
Speaker 0 26:29 And unfortunately it's right here in these types of moments where most women do not want you to ask honey, are you feeling like being fucked really hard or should I make love to you tonight? You certainly can and there's nothing wrong with it, but this is where it can make or break a moment. You more often than not will be expected to feel into it, but you certainly can check in and ask and the feeling that you want to check in with is, is this something that feels softer and gentler or more intense and hard and hot? What is soft and gentle? More like making love, more like something you'd see in a movie like in meet Joe Black, you know, or just a romance scene. Something that really involves taking your time. Do you think of it as making love? Do you think of it as nurturing her and loving her now?
Speaker 0 27:22 I love the idea of lovingly fucking somewhat so of course again it can transfer to both sides or does your experience feel like something more hot, intense, passionate, deep, perhaps quick, dominant, aggressive and perhaps stronger and perhaps more assertive? Think of this as the wanting to rip each other's clothes off sensation. That's how you know what direction your sexual interaction is heading, and now you're ready to step into the next phase. Number five, if you're going down the direction of making love, all sorts of different emotions can come up. Vulnerability, trust, love, romance, desire, crying, sadness, surprising emotions, total breakdowns, all sorts of things, and come out of a woman when you are present with her and loving her. So we'll call this softer version because I think everybody can relate to this. We'll call it making love. If your goal isn't to come and you're not so obsessed with making her come, but moron guiding her through an experience or bringing her through the moment with you, you can uncover these emotions that I personally think can be more important than just making her come once or twice.
Speaker 0 28:46 If you're really in a loving place, and especially if you love this person, this is where she can have an emotional experience. And now we're in a completely different place than we were several steps ago because now that vulnerability is there. So you might feel her softening, opening, everything is opening. Downstairs is opening, her lips are opening. Her mouth is softer and more receptive to you. She's giving herself over to you. If you've gotten to this place, you've done extremely, extremely well and it's really critical to not make sudden changes or finish all of a sudden and then just get up and go do something else or crack a joke. It's cetera, et cetera. It's nice to stay in this state for sustained amount of time. As long as you can hold off. It feels good to be in a state of arousal, to be really, can't stand this word horny.
Speaker 0 29:46 Does it remind you of something horned or with horns? It's like there should be such a better word that everyone feels comfortable using instead of that. Or I'm really excited, but turned on feels good too. If you could get to a place where each stroke matters, each thrust feels so different, but yet so good, so continuous, so pervasive. Can you move in and out of her in a way where each stroke is pushing her over the edge again and again and again and yet with the repetition, each stroke feels a new, it feels like something fresh. Maybe it goes even deeper into her soul, into her heart, into her. If you can maintain eye contact with her, then you can elevate her to another stage beyond the imagination. If however you find herself on the other side of the spectrum and you know that you're going to fuck really, really well, still requires trust, but the intensity, the force, the directness and assertiveness, everything else is ramped up.
Speaker 0 30:58 Maybe there is more kissing, maybe there's not. Maybe you're really focused around thumbing around her, Clint, while you're moving in and out of her and looking her deeply in the eyes and this is where you'll get moans and cries and size. It sound really, really affirming, but they might be quicker, like more like more like a panting where you hear more of a higher pitch like like a whimpering or like a higher pitched whine. All good signs, not the final place of where you can go, but now we're getting there. All right. Now we want to move into a place that is perhaps the hardest place for people to speak about. It's not socially acceptable to speak about this publicly. It's not even really socially acceptable to speak about this with friends and it's close to one of the final stages. Of course, if you are someone in a spiritual community and you practice tantra and you practice moving orgasms up and down your spine and you practice connecting to the divine and you have a whole other area of arousal and pleasure, that's wonderful.
Speaker 0 32:00 That's a whole different episode, but for now we are strictly focusing on one aspect of having sex and there are many. You can have sex strictly to procreate. You can have sex strictly for pleasure. You can have sex for God, for source or for the universe. Whatever you believe in, you can have sex for the world and the world's growth. Yes, indeed. You can have sex for each other. There's so many different modalities and methods in which you can have sex, but this particular episode is dealing with the way most people in the world are having sex with their new partner or their boyfriend or girlfriend or other or spouse. So what is the next level whether you're making love or fucking her that you can help her spill into? I would say the next level is her orgasm slash. Orgasms and this is where things really open up and some of the lines can blur between fucking and making love or fucking and having sex because the more turned on she gets, the more open the jucier, the wetter she becomes, the more she can share, the more she's willing to do things that she might not have done way before, such as touching herself, playing with her clit while looking at you being more interactive in the experience, saying things she might not have said before, letting you know the daddy gets what daddy wants and so on and so forth.
Speaker 0 33:26 And as you begin to bring her to orgasm, you can experience one of several things. Number one, the moaning or the intensity or the clenching might just increase and now you are building the steam train is moving forward and there's no stopping it. You're building it up, you're building it up depending on the intensity, sometimes formalities, core gelati, common courtesy, politeness, tact, classiness and the way a woman carries herself, like a lady begins to go out the window by her own volition. If you decide to see things through to make her come, because maybe making her come as difficult or it takes her a long time or your new partners, you just want to get her there. Then you stick with this and you build and build and stroke and kiss and love and touch and keep her going. While that cycle builds, if you're a little more experienced and you're comfortable stopping, you can ease things off, back it up, slow her down, and then let it build up again.
Speaker 0 34:29 This is called teasing and women hate it. I mean, love it. The more you tease, the more intense it can get. A lot of men don't like this. Some guys like edging as it's called, but many men feel like they just want to have their orgasm when it's time and not be interrupted. Women, even though she might almost be there, I mean the most cruel thing you can do is like get her practically there and then stop and then not finish her off. So you build and you ease off and you build and you ease off and you build. This is where the intensity factor can grow and grow and grow, especially if you're lovingly doing this. Don't be an arrogant prick. Keep your ego out of it. Don't try to draw attention to or demonstrate how amazing you are because you know how to do this.
Speaker 0 35:12 Enjoy it with her, be with her. It's going to be more meaningful and impactful when you're present and not doing this from a place of control or arrogance or ego and so forth. Ready to move on. Number seven is the spill and this is where you get her so wet, so excited. You're finding all sorts of spots and ways to get her turned on that you might feel a flood of juices melt down over your cock. She might even splash you if you're lucky. She might drench you. She might tell you how wet she is. She might get embarrassed about how wet she is. You might switch positions and notice there's a huge spot of her wetness all over the sheets that penetrated its way through your dovey cover, your down comforter and your soft sheets. You might see that she's in a puddle. You're likely to be super hard and turned on by this.
Speaker 0 36:07 You're likely to struggle with holding back and not having your orgasm, but hold back my friends. It gets much better now. You're knee deep in it all. Now you're tapped into something even more carnal and primal. You're in an altered state of consciousness. You're in command of her ship. You're helping guide her to a place that she's never been before. This is one of my favorite places to be with a woman is where the eye contact really shifts from looking at you or appreciating you or being turned on by you, et cetera, to like, Oh my God, I'm yours. You might hear her say things like, this pussy is yours. I'm yours. Do whatever you want to me. I've never felt anything like this before. Keep going. Don't stop. What are you doing to me? How are you hitting that spot? How do you know how to do this and so on and so forth.
Speaker 0 37:03 Congratulations. You're doing an incredible job. The spill means whether or not she comes, but most likely she will. There's just going to be a mess. She's going to be all hot and bothered and drenched. Her hair is going to be messed up. Her makeup could be running if she's wearing any. Everything is different now and it doesn't matter, and you have her in a state where she would never be seen like this publicly in a conscious state of mind with running makeup and messy hair and feeling like a total sexy mess, but because the arousal is there because she's so turned on and excited because she's so excited to be with you. It doesn't matter. In fact, it's hot. It's exciting that she's a mess. It's exciting that she's opening her legs as wide as she can and letting you take her as deeply as she can.
Speaker 0 37:51 Even if you're making love to your partner, even if you're having a different kind of emotional experience with her romantic experience, it can still build up to this level. Number eight, taking her over the top and giving her the final blow. Now it's my personal belief that there aren't really limits to how far you can take the amount of pleasure you can give a woman. It is unbelievable. The vast well of pleasure that they can feel to me way more so than men. I'm sure there's some men out there who are super emotional and can feel things, but for the most part, men feel things with their cock and just kind of in that general area and women feel things full body throughout their fingertips. They get tingly, they get numb, and that's where we are in this next section. The pinnacle, the creme de LA creme, things start happening that you might not have seen before.
Speaker 0 38:48 Limbs, fingers, body parts begin to get a little numb. Maybe she starts speaking in tongues, maybe she stops making sense when she's speaking. Maybe she makes faces that you've never seen before. This is especially true if you're having anal sex for the first time or second or third, and there's a combination of a little bit of pain mixed with pleasure that creates oddly an exquisite pleasure for many women who allow it to happen with a man who's patient enough and gentle enough. Suddenly some noises begin coming out of her that you've never heard before. Apologies in advance if the noises I'm about to make might make you feel a little weird on the inside. But you know, to give you an example a rather than that high pitched, you hear more of a <inaudible> obviously doesn't sound nearly as delicious as when a woman does it.
Speaker 0 39:41 It stops becoming high pitched and hits more of a deep, ferocious, intense place. What's a word that would describe this perfectly guttural, instinctual, intense. You're giving it to her so well and so intense, but with love as well, so there's trust there. This isn't an act. This isn't a porn star. It is a guttural, deep, delirious sound of unbridled pleasure. Congratulations. You've finally gotten a woman out of her head. Suddenly every part of her body becomes electric. An erogenous zone, things that perhaps she didn't like before, she likes. Now for hacks, you can hold, squeeze, pinch, or tug on her nipples, a little firmer than you could before or bite them if she likes that of alluded to the state before in previous podcasts as being come drunk, everything can build with intensity and something very interesting happens here. For many women, they can let go of the need and desire to feel safe and loved and held and protected and all of these qualities that are so, so beautiful.
Speaker 0 40:59 It's not that they vanish from or completely, it's not that you could become a cruel or evil person, but they stop mattering because that was established a long time ago and you did things right to get here and now you can do anything to each other. I have to, obviously, since I'm speaking publicly to the world within reason, you have to know where your partner's limits are. You have to know what's not going to hurt her. You don't want to hurt her. You want to keep it an incredible experience, but in terms of flipping her around in different positions and saying things to her and expressing in ways that maybe you haven't, this is the place where all of that's possible. When you feel like you've reached the height, the pinnacle of a sexual experience with your partner, then there's still another phase after this.
Speaker 0 41:48 Number nine is the comedown. This would be the time where you wouldn't leap out of bed and go to work or jump up and go wash off. She's in a state of being so vulnerable, so raw, so deliciously open, so turned out, so turned on, so excited. It's really, really important to have some level of aftercare here and depending on the intensity, the aftercare could look like very, very soft and gentle cuddles, or it could just look like staring at each other, breathing with each other, taking each other in, laying next to each other without touching each other or with having a hand on each other on the side of the bed. But it's critical that you don't abandon her. You don't just jump in the shower, rinse off, especially don't get on your phone, start cracking jokes, leap back in your head. This is the distinguishing factor.
Speaker 0 42:43 Both men and women have this problem. It's like if there's just a moment of silence or even awkwardness or just deep sensuality and connection. Someone wants to break the silence by cracking a joke or so what next? Or wow, that was intense or well, that was fun and it puts you where you always live right in your head and not in your heart. If you've reached a level of arousal that's this high, you should follow it up with care. Now, if you happen to have come as well, maybe spoon each other, fall asleep in each other's arms, snuggle up, have her fall asleep with her head on your chest, something like that, but allow everything to calm down.
Speaker 0 43:26 Catch your breath, have some water, kiss each other softly, caress each other's skin. Hold each other, look at each other, smile at each other. See one another when the time is right. If you have a wet washcloth or some wipes nearby, if things are really, really sticky and wet and make it so they're palatable, you can lay somewhere comfortably. If you're in a pool of her juices, perhaps move somewhere else. What's interesting about this place is that women can often stay in this place of heightened arousal for a little while longer, and it can be very exciting to be in a pool of her own juices. It could be arousing to be like, look at what your body created as a result of what we did together, how exciting it's on. It's come out of your body and onto my sheets. Now what? And some people are more squirmish with bodily fluids and some people were more accepting and I myself find it to be very dependent on how attracted I am to that person.
Speaker 0 44:27 Once you've had an experience like this, whether you've known someone for seconds or five minutes an hour or two a day or two a week or two or 20 years, when you've given someone an experience like this, you have seriously imprinted on one another. You've bonded, you have achieved a level of depth that goes beyond words. Doesn't mean you know everything about the person, doesn't mean they might be a horrible match for you in terms of a relationship or it could be an incredible love affair, but there's something about this level that's really, really special. Try not to bring in again more jokes, more chit chat. She might even try to bring in chitchat and you could actually just just hold her or be there with her and then eventually finally down the road. Then begin maybe take a shower together, maybe have a drink or a smoothie prepared, maybe have some fresh air come in or some light or go for a walk or get into nature or take a shower together, whatever and really sit in rapture at this experience. These are the ones you want to save her and there you haven't. Ladies and gentlemen, a brief summary of the female sexual response cycle.
Speaker 1 45:47 Yeah.
Speaker 0 45:47 If you find yourself in a position where you'd like to learn more about this one on one, I strongly recommend my 12 week coaching program. We obviously go much, much deeper sessions are available in person in San Diego or via Skype or FaceTime or any other social media platform. She whoever she is will thank you for it. This was a really good framework for understanding the basics and of course there are other dimensions. There are other spiritual levels. You can take things too. There's more heightened States of consciousness you can get to before, during, and after sex. There are different tantric practices and meditations you can work on with one another, but this very specifically addresses the physicality of sex, the very physical dimension, but also including other emotions like love, lust, desire, appreciation, ravishing, all that good stuff. It's where most people reside in their practice with intimacy.
Speaker 0 46:44 Not necessarily all steps, but in terms of how we experience pleasure. So I hope this has helped you. I hope it stimulates discussion amongst your girlfriends and guy friends and I hope that over time that will inspire us to create another episode of even deeper levels that we can go to. Thank you very much for listening. As you know, we have an account with Patrion where you can donate to the podcast because yes, every monthly contribution makes a difference. It's if you are struck by this or any other podcast and it's helped you or helped your life in some way, how do you give back point your web browser, your phone to www.patrion.com forward slash closeness. Our website is get closeness.com you can forward this podcast to your friends on Spotify, YouTube, Google, play music, Google podcasts, iHeartRadio, and anywhere else podcasts can be found. Let's spread closeness to those we care about most. Thanks for listening and have a great day.
