What is the Closeness Podcast?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hi, and welcome to Season one of the closeness podcast. My name is Tari and I'll be your host. Through this remarkable journey that you're about to embark upon, you can get closeness everywhere. Podcasts can be found iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Google Podcasts, Deezer on the Getcloseness.com website, Stitcher, iHeart, and of course, YouTube. To subscribe to our channel, simply search for Closeness podcast on YouTube, click the first link and then click subscribe. It's my sincere hope that what you're about to listen to is something you've never experienced before. How to be intimate and a new sexual education. Or perhaps if you've never had one before, a roadmap to unlock everything you've ever wanted to know about sex, intimacy, relationships and dating. An education that's done with tact, heart, compassion and presence, humor, playfulness, and a remarkable ability to not beat around the proverbial bush. In fact, the more you listen, the more you'll quickly realize we really get down to business. The idea behind the Closeness podcast and closeness coaching is to take ideas, concepts, beliefs that we have about sex and break them down into bite sized pieces that you can digest easily so that you can have phenomenal, mind bending, incredible, hot, connected sex, but also so that you can communicate with reject, invite, entice, and turn on your current partner, future partner, and perhaps even some of your past partners as well. Even if you're a virgin or you haven't had sex before, even if you haven't had sex in a few years, even if you're alone and single, this podcast is going to be gold for you. We all use the expression it's all about communication, and yet no one knows how to communicate. We know how to communicate the way we were raised to do so, but we don't know how to do it in a way where others can genuinely hear us, feel us, and have compassion for us. And we often get lost when we have to have compassion for others. For instance, have you ever been in a heated argument with a loved one and they've turned around and slammed the door on your face and vanished for an hour, or a day, or two or three? Have you been in the middle of trying to express yourself, and then someone has shut down, gotten angry, gotten furious, or turned it around and made it all about them instead? Have you done that to other people? Of course you have. There has never been a more important time for this podcast than now, because we seek to do a few things incredibly well. Number one, take complex sexual issues and unravel them, break them down in a way that you can actually do something with. Many episodes might be things that you've thought about before or considered before, but didn't quite know how to articulate or ask for in your life. Other episodes still might awaken something sexual within you, and other episodes might really touch your heart deeply. In any case, one thing is certain. This is going to be an unforgettable journey, one that's going to inspire you, delight you, and possibly even turn you on in ways you never thought possible. I make every attempt to use languaging that is clear, precise, and easy to understand, while also being completely open sexually so that nothing we talk about is off limits. One of the number one things I hear from my clients who have had experience with sex therapy, or who have gone to see therapists for help is their lack of comfort around sex and sexuality. They even specialize in it, and yet they're not comfortable speaking about it. The Closeness podcast and closeness coaching is. [00:03:12] Speaker B: Nothing like that at all. [00:03:14] Speaker A: We go there, we get into it, we get into the nitty gritty and then go even deeper and get beyond that. I also talk about sex in a way that hopefully is easy for you to hear, that doesn't make you cringe in a way that's sensual and interesting and intriguing to listen to while at the same time not pussyfooting around subject matter that you really want to hear the juicy details about. What I find is that most people, when they speak about sex, it falls into one of two categories. NumbEr one, it's too clinical, too penis and vagina, too scientific and a little bit vague that you can't do a whole lot with. It's just sort of facts that are interesting to know. Or number two, it's porn star style. It's raunchy, it's super graphic. It's perhaps way too open and direct for your liking. You're blasted with all sorts of strong language, and you're usually made to feel bad for not knowing. There is actually a third category that's emerging where people are comfortably talking about sex, and I do have one thing to say about that as well. What I hear a lot in this third category are sentences like, you just got to see what you like. You just got to figure out for yourself. It just depends on what you want. You just got to do what's right for you. And then also that everything is okay. No matter what you're feeling, it's fine. No matter what you want to do, it's fine. No matter how you treat others, it's okay. It's as if we're little toddlers and nothing we can do is wrong. And while I'm not here to tell you that your own unique expression of yourself isn't beautiful, there are quite frankly, simply things that you should not do that aren't going to get you good results when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex or the same sex. I'm here personally to help you avoid those pitfalls. Now, you may find in listening that this podcast is a touch, as one might say, heteronormative. And there's some truth to that. I embrace it. I do speak about the subjects that. [00:04:58] Speaker B: I know and the ones I'm familiar. [00:05:00] Speaker A: With, and I don't pretend to know about the ones that I don't. I embrace and welcome the LGBTQ community. I coach them as clients, and I certainly encourage everyone, no matter what your gender is, no matter how you identify, to listen to this podcast, because like it or not, most of us are going to fall into archetypes or roles, and those are going to tend to be masculine and feminine, even if we don't identify as such. Inevitably in almost any relationship, someone's going to be more dominant, someone is going to be more submissive, someone's going to be more feminine and soft, someone's going to be a little bit stronger and more powerful. We embrace diversity. We love that about people. It's what makes us feel attraction to someone else. So while you may hear an enormous amount of hey, women, consider saying this, and guys, maybe think about saying that, please note that I'm not trying to isolate anyone here. In doing this, there's no excluding or isolating of anyone on closeness. I'm here to help. I'm here to educate. And yeah, I'm here to get you a little bit turned on as well. This podcast is my free offering to you. I give away most of my content for free so that everyone in the world can benefit from it. However, after listening to a few episodes, maybe you find that you want to have a more personalized experience or that you'd like to have a one on one or two on one session with me. I call this closeness coaching. This means you and I, or you. [00:06:24] Speaker B: And a partner and I, or you. [00:06:26] Speaker A: And multiple partners and I get together either in person or via video chat or even on the phone to figure out what's plaguing you. Is it hard for you to talk about sex? Is sex so easy that you don't know how to handle it when other people feel uncomfortable or anxious about it? Around you. Are you looking for ways to have more pleasure, closeness? Coaching gives you access to that is exciting and is also very safe. Sex and intimacy coaching is no joke. It's intense. Sometimes you'll cry, sometimes you'll laugh. The work is challenging, and it's very hard to face yourself, to express your vulnerabilities and to allow some of your vulnerabilities to come up in front of someone. But one thing I promise you, you'll be doing it in a safe held space where there's no judgment, where you can feel safe to express anything that you like. And I can help you move from where you are to where you want to be. When it comes to sex, coaching and intimacy, even when it falls in other categories, such as dating advice, or you're looking for a therapist, or you want to get counseling. Whatever it is, when it pertains to your sexuality, people tend to fall in one of two camps. One, you believe in it, you understand it. You know how critical and important it is to have a healthy, happy relationship with yourself, with your loved ones, with people who you're intimate with. And you understand on a deeper level that you can't get it right. And we all can't see outside of ourselves sometimes. And having that perspective, an outsider looking in, or someone who understands what you're going through, can help you grow and experience better sex and better relationships. On the other hand, there are those who are, you might say, the disbelievers, ones who think that you should just know how to do all this stuff and think that they've got it down themselves. Half of the people who I come across ask me this question. Really. People need that. People need sexual help and sexual education. People need to know how to have better sex. And the answer is absolutely yes. Every single person in the world can benefit from closeness, coaching, and intimacy. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Coaching. [00:08:24] Speaker A: Anyone who's been involved in a relationship, anyone who's been hurt before. Anyone who's been confused or shocked by sex, or didn't know what to do with their feelings before, during, and after. Anyone who found themselves in an uncomfortable position and didn't know how to get out of a situation they were in, or how to respond to something someone said or did, or even something as direct as how to go down on someone. Yeah, we all need this stuff. What I find is when you look closely at someone's relationship, even when you just go a couple layers deep, you find that people are on the verge of total disaster and breakup. Most people are not stable in their relationship. Most people are not stable in their marriage. Or they've made so many sacrifices and shut themselves so down that they're so broken and numb to it all that they just don't feel it anymore. As far as I can tell, we've got about one week to a year of that romance period where everything seems wonderful and great and everything's perfect. Where we feel invincible, like we could do no wrong and like we've really got this. But even then, sometimes our insecurities get the best of us. We question, does he really like me? Is he out with someone else? Is she sleeping with someone else? Is there something they're not telling me? How do I bring up this issue without being accusatory? How do I bring up this issue without sounding insecure, needy? How do I help the other person be heard so that they don't feel lost, broken, hurt, sad, depressed, upset? Closeness addresses all of this, and we do so in a way that we think it's going to get you hooked. Where closeness really shines is when it comes to having better sex, more intimacy, a better connection, deeper communication. How does the female mind and the male mind work, and how do they work together? So, on the one hand, closeness is about receiving, feeling, giving, and unlocking more pleasure in your life. And on the other, it's about getting through the tough spots, how to handle them, how to see them before they come up, and even how to deal with breakups. But when it comes to the former, enjoying better sex or having a better experience than you're already having? Most people won't ever look at this path. They think that they're good where they are, or that everything is just fine, or that they don't need help, or that if it's not broken, then don't fix it. But the truth is, there's no limit to the amount of joy and pleasure. [00:10:37] Speaker B: That we can experience on a day to day basis. [00:10:39] Speaker A: Whether that's just within ourselves or by and from our partners, we find the simple things that work. I know that if I go down on her, she'll come. She knows that if she does this, he'll come, and everybody will be happy and life will go on. For many people, sex is a service or an obligation, or just something they go through to go through the motions. And many of us haven't had that mind bending, Melty, delicious, exquisite, hot, passionate sex. Or maybe we've had it with a person or two and we know we're capable of it, but we don't know how to have that with other people or a new partner. [00:11:10] Speaker B: When we come out of a relationship. [00:11:12] Speaker A: Maybe we're in a marriage or a relationship that either we don't know how to get out of and we're stuck, or we want to save. And we want to have that same type of feeling we used to have during that romance phase or the infatuation period of a relationship. So regardless of whether you've known someone for 20 minutes or 20 years, there is an enormous wealth of knowledge to be gained here. Closeness teaches us how to make the moments that we spend with the people in our lives who matter to us most, or even passing flings a much more rewarding, pleasurable, and all encompassing experience. Many of us are masters at brushing our emotions under the rug. We just don't talk about it. It makes us feel uncomfortable. We don't want to bring it up. We don't want to look at it. [00:11:50] Speaker B: We don't want to hear it. [00:11:51] Speaker A: Sometimes we feel too insecure, nervous, or concerned to speak about a certain subject. This podcast helps you break through all of that and teaches you how to be intimate. You know, there's a huge difference between sex and intimacy, and even though they can bleed into one another, they can totally intertwine. Intimacy is something that many of us are lacking every single day of our lives, even if we're in a committed and loving relationship. Intimacy, much like other words such as money, sex and power, are what I call loaded terms. Insofar as we have these knee jerk responses in our minds that tell us, I know how to do that, I've got that figured out. Yeah, I know what that means. And we think that because we are sexy or we are sexual, or we've had sex, or people want to have sex with us, that therefore we have an understanding of what intimacy is. Not true. But intimacy doesn't work like an award or a diploma, where once you have it, it's forever yours. And if you've had more than a few relationships over the course of your life, you know that very well. So wouldn't it be nice to listen to something for 20 minutes or an hour and be able to apply it immediately, immediately into your life with measurable results? To do this, all you have to do is tune in, have an open mind, and be present and reflect on some of the content that I'm delivering to you. It doesn't require a scientist to know, nor does it require empirical evidence or scientific knowledge, that we are more closed off, skeptical, shut down, guarded, and fearful than ever before. We turn down experiences that we're curious about. We avoid people that we like we run away from things all the time. And for what purpose? To what end? Do we really feel like we are in danger? When it comes to sex and intimacy, information on these subjects is incredibly difficult to come across. Good, useful information that you can apply right away. It shouldn't matter to you so much how many people are having sex or who's having sex or what. All the statistics are. But what's going on with you right now, with your relationship to your family, your loved ones, the people or person you have sex with? How is your relationship with yourself? We explore things like self love, self care. What do you do to take care of yourself when you're stressed, agitated, or full of angst? And for those people who want more specific answers, who want a custom tailored response, in addition to offering closeness coaching in San Diego and online, you also have the option of becoming a closeness patron. Here you have the opportunity to submit your own questions that you'd love to get answered. If you're not ready for some one on one coaching, you could submit them directly to me to get them answered on an upcoming episode. And when I answer it, it'll be direct, deep, sensual, intimate subjects spoken to you in a way you can hear. If you're curious about this and you'd like to get started right away, please take a look at our Patreon page, which is patreon.com closeness. [00:14:39] Speaker B: And if you haven't checked out our. [00:14:41] Speaker A: Beautiful website already, it's Getcloseness.com. Now. If you happen to have browsed through some of the other titles in the podcast, you'll notice that we don't hold anything back in the creation of closeness. We also looked at how podcasts are created and gave considerable thought to what we can do better. So most people have a long winded podcast where you're forced to listen to everything, including things you may not want to hear. Our episodes are long, yes, but they're action packed and full of content, so you're not spending two or 3 hours per episode listening to people banter, share inside jokes with one another where you have no idea what's going on, stumble over their own nervousness, chitchat, engage in small talk, and repeat themselves in 20 different ways from Tuesday. By using phrases like like I said, everything here is very succinct. We jump right into the juicy details, and if a subject is so vast that it does require a large amount of time to digest, well, then we break it up into a few different parts. So when you listen to something like this, there are a few things to remember. Number one, don't hesitate to pause. Just pause the audio and reflect on what we're speaking about for a moment. Your mind can't work that fast, especially if we begin to speak a little quickly or we're going through subject material rather fast. Number two, don't hesitate to rewind the audio. Jump back 30, 60, 90 seconds if you found yourself zoning out and thinking about something that was previously said. And number three, it's really not possible for the human mind to do more than one focused thing at once. Yeah, sure, maybe you can make your bed while you're listening. Maybe you can do some stretching while you're listening. But you know that when you're stretching, you can't really deeply tune into yourself and to your breath and to your body while you're listening to something else. You can't work while you're listening to a podcast. You can't type up a document while having it playing in the background. So anytime you're listening to the closeness podcast, it's best to be present, quiet. [00:16:35] Speaker B: And be in a place where you're. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Undisturbed, like when you're driving for a while or you're meditating, or you're just sitting quietly, or you feel like taking. [00:16:42] Speaker B: It easy and putting something on. [00:16:45] Speaker A: We're also leveraging the power of momentum so that the more people who tune in, the more people can live a happier, healthier, more robust sexual life. Imagine you've been dealing with something for a very long time. Perhaps it's something that presents itself in your relationships over and over again. Perhaps it's something sexual that you haven't known how to ask about or explore before. And maybe it's something you've been hurting about or been in pain about for a long time. Well, you better believe that other people have that same question as well. And by you choosing to do something, like getting it answered on an upcoming episode by becoming a patron, or even doing your own closeness session, and then sharing what you learned with the people that you love and friends around you, everyone is growing and benefiting from it. When it comes to the content we are delivering, the intention is never to make you feel worse or bad or ashamed of who you are or the choices that you may have made or continue to make, but rather to help illuminate some of the darker caverns of your mind and your physiology so that you could, if you're willing, improve, become a better person and become a more desirable version of yourself. You know, each of us has our own internal guidance system whether you want to call that your gut or your instinct or your inner knowing, it lets us know, moment to moment, what's good. [00:17:59] Speaker B: And what's not good for us. [00:18:01] Speaker A: And to help you understand this, what you may feel is not right for you in the moment without having to judge it as a red flag or an emergency or a cris, it may simply just not be right for you right now. And it also doesn't mean that if it's not right for you right now, that it's not right for anybody else as well. It's just your own guidance. So you not liking something, you not having a good feeling about something does not make it globally wrong again, it doesn't even make it universally, globally and forever wrong for you. It simply means that in this moment, you're feeling like it's a no. But if something is really resonating with you, if you're inspired, if you feel like you're ready to take action, then I always encourage people to do so. So much of what closeness deals with is an invitation for you to tap into your own internal guidance system, to tune into your instincts, your vibe, your gut sensation or gut feeling. The voice that's in your head that's telling you, yes, do this or no, don't do it. And I strongly encourage people all the time in my private practice as well if it's not an 80% yes. So sometimes sitting quietly, deep breathing or meditation can help you get in touch with it. But finding your authentic voice, not the fearful one, or the knee jerk response one, or the one who always says no to everything but the real you that wants you to grow and to expand and become the man or woman or person you were born to be. Not what your family thinks, not what your religion believes, but what you think. That's what we want to help you tune into. I'm always going to be inviting you to ask yourself some questions. Why are you uncomfortable? Is it because it's foreign to you or new to you, or you haven't heard it before or you've never done it this way? Does something scare you? Did you have a previous experience where you tried something and this or that reminds you of it so you don't want to do it again? That reminds me of a lot of most women's first time anal experiences. Most women are petrified of having anal sex because they've had some guy be a little on the rough side by just shoving it in and thinking that that's okay. Then someone has a traumatic experience about it and they never want to try it again? Meanwhile, you have countless other women who have done the same thing and have the best orgasms of their life having anal sex. Sometimes Discomfort precludes excitement. Sometimes nervousness precludes excitement. And sometimes it's also a hard no. And we need to know when and how to stop right there. So you've got your own internal guidance system, and it's giving you moment to moment feedback about what your truth is now. [00:20:28] Speaker B: And that can be regardless of whether something has been scientifically proven, whether the world considers it to be fact or not, whether your friends and family believe it and you don't, you know what's right and best for you. [00:20:41] Speaker A: Nowadays we have these terrible default behaviors that we lean on. Ignoring texts, ghosting, not responding, flat out lying, feeling paralyzed or paranoid. If someone comes over to simply speak to us, being snappy, reactionary, getting frustrated. Some people even take pride in their sassiness, their bitchiness or arrogance. They use expressions like full of sass. Try to keep up. [00:21:04] Speaker B: Others confuse what they call honesty and bluntness with being vulgar and rude. I can say without blinking an eye that most of us do not feel good about the way we treat most people on a daily basis. Think about the last time you brushed by someone. Did you make eye contact? [00:21:21] Speaker A: Or the last time you reached for something at a supermarket right in front of someone's face or body without saying, excuse me, when you got home last night, were you cranky or upset, or just didn't have a good day and you snapped at your partner or friend or parent? If you got a phone call from someone you weren't expecting, did you rush them off the phone because you were in a hurry? Did you pick up and say, oh, I thought you were someone else, or, oh, I answered, but I have to go? Because most of us think that we're good people. We think that we're genuinely good. But our day to day interactions, our little interactions with friends, family members, and strangers suggest otherwise. [00:21:57] Speaker B: We tend to think that in the moments that we are doing well, such as if you're having a good day right now and you hear something like that, we color our reality a little bit different. We think, I love my life, I'm having a great moment right now, until the moment comes where you're not having a great moment. And then the way we treat others changes as well. [00:22:16] Speaker A: We were talking earlier about how closeness is also about experiencing more pleasure. What does that mean? What does that mean, experiencing more pleasure as a result of listening to these podcasts? It means that as you listen, and you feel into the subjects that we're discussing that you allow yourself to evaluate some of your old beliefs, your bad habits, your patterns, the way that you approach looking at the world and at others, and you begin to soften some of those rough edges and dive a little deeper into being more present when you connect with others. And if you do so, you will actually physically change the way it feels. You can have more rewarding experiences as a result of doing so. We all need connection and love to be happy. We need to feel appreciated, and we need to appreciate others for us to thrive. [00:23:05] Speaker B: And if all that's been holding you back is a thought or a perception, or a belief system, or a judgment or something small that we can tweak easily and it can bring you into more pleasure, wouldn't you want to do it? [00:23:16] Speaker A: When we think of intimacy and closeness for almost everyone, our minds go directly to sex and sexuality. And we spoke earlier about how that is an enormous part of what these podcasts will be about, sex. But it's also about the way we treat people who we don't know, who are perfect strangers every single day. The ones we bump into in a supermarket, or when we're getting gas, or when we're at yoga. The ones who we ignore when they walk right by us. The ones who we ignore when they smile at us. The ones who we ignore when they talk to us and we pretend we didn't hear. Now let's get real. [00:23:48] Speaker B: Did you just have a knee jerk response that said, I'm under no obligation to talk to anyone, and I'm not going to speak to everyone who looks at me or who wants my attention. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Did your mind go to worst case scenarios, such as talking to a stranger. [00:23:59] Speaker B: At midnight in an underground subway when. [00:24:01] Speaker A: You'Re all by yourself, or someone who's got bad energy in a bar, or someone who makes you feel extremely uncomfortable? No, of course, I don't mean knee situations and moments when I go out and I see how other people interact with others, or how others interact with me. It's simply mind blowing to me. How many people don't want to be seen? How many people ignore everyone around them? How many people wish they were invisible, or are so insecure that they wish they didn't have to be seen in public. We're buried in our phones. We're lost in our heads. We're afraid to communicate. We're terrified of reaching out to someone. In real life, we live by texting, and unfortunately, even in public, clean, safe, friendly places like beautiful beaches or malls or big, open farmers markets or beautiful parks. Places where it feels so natural to say hello to someone or smile, or to acknowledge another person's existence. No, we choose to shut it all down. Even if we're walking with friends, even if we're walking with loved ones. We love to be in our own little bubble because we're scared. We're scared of what the world's become. We're scared of what might happen. We're scared of what it might mean if someone talks to us. We're scared of what it might turn into. Everyone prefers ignoring everyone else, as if they don't exist, which, frankly, is one big lie. It's an act. You can't help but feel another person's presence. You know, they're standing right there. They're right next to you. They're looking at you, they're brushing by you. No other animal on the planet would pretend that nothing is standing right next to it unless they were going to be attacked and perhaps even killed. But because we have our own insecurities, we're wired to be more paranoid. We're wired to watch out. No matter how beautiful the day is and how calm our surroundings are now, we're at the point where we're petrified to say hello, scared to say hi to someone we don't know. We know how easy it would be to make quick, brief eye contact, to crack a smile, to nod your head, to say good afternoon, or to simply acknowledge that the person in front of you exists. But most of us now keep more energy on keeping our eyes down, on staring down, on punishing ourselves by keeping ourselves locked inside of our own bodies. You don't even behave this way with a puppy dog or a cat. What happens then? What happens when you see an animal? [00:26:16] Speaker B: You can't help yourself. You see it and you run over to it and you want to pet it and smile at it and say hello and tell it how good it is while you completely ignore their owner. Somehow in our world, that's appropriate to. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Run over to animals and shower them with love. But God forbid you almost bump into. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Someone, or you're standing next to them. [00:26:35] Speaker A: In line, or you're eating next to someone, or you're sitting next to them, or they say hello to you. Or even, as I've seen lately, you actually bump into someone and then keep walking and you don't even acknowledge their existence. Look at them or say, excuse me. [00:26:47] Speaker B: Somehow we've decided that no matter how much we are in someone else's personal space, or how much someone comes into ours that our best behavior is to be shut down, closed off, and ignore everybody. Of course we've all had bad experiences, and of course sometimes there are very understandable reasons to be fearful or concerned. But we've got to ask ourselves daily. [00:27:10] Speaker A: Is this who we want to be for the rest of our lives? Should one or two or three or four bad experiences color the people who we want to become forevermore until we die? [00:27:23] Speaker B: It seems to make sense that if you're in a beautiful sundress or a nice outfit, and you're in a beautiful, bright, sunny park and people are outside and children are playing and birds are flying and ducks are swimming, and someone walks by you and says hello or acknowledges you, don't you want to feel human connection? What about if you are single and you feel attraction to the person? Would you like to be open to a conversation to see what can Unfold? We are social beings by nature. We can't exist without other people around us. And so much more often than not, much, much more often than not, that fear winds up being a paranoia or a one size fits all belief system about how all people are or all men and women are, than an actual valid fear for your safety. And you might say, well, the risk is too great. We don't know if the person we're speaking to is going to be crazy. [00:28:20] Speaker A: Or not, but this is so far. [00:28:22] Speaker B: Removed from the norm. And likewise with anything in life, such as someone who's looking for a date, someone has to approach. Usually that's a man, and we don't know if someone's going to be crazy or not, or rude or not, or inconsiderate or not. But if we want to move forward in life, if we want to get new business clients or new prospects, if we want to make new friends, and if we want to date someone, we've got to move it forward. So closeness teaches us how to handle these situations in a healthy, safe, respectful, and considerate way. It's like paying it forward. The kinder you are to someone, the easier it is for them to be kind to someone else and begin to change their beliefs and expectations about expecting bad behavior. [00:29:06] Speaker A: So that's an intro of what the closeness podcast is all about. Now, for the next ten or so minutes, we're going to explore the types of questions that you're likely to have answered by tuning in and listening. Feel free to use this as inspiration, and maybe something inspires you to ask a question yourself on the closest podcast. If you don't see it already in the upcoming seasons. If you feel like you've got the gist already, feel free to jump right into episode number two. But if you do decide to stay along for the ride, then after each subject, I invite you to press the pause button and reflect. If you're with someone, you may even want to explore. If this is something that's a hot button for you, if this is something that you find triggering, what you feel about it, why you feel about it, and what your partner's thoughts are on the subject. Notice what your knee jerk responses are to these subjects. So now, without further ado, here are a number of subjects that you may and will hear on the closeness podcast. We will absolutely be covering dating, sex, intimacy, communication, even manners, respect, and how to be a better person. Sometimes we'll touch on travel, quality of life subjects, the types of things we put into our bodies. In other words, how we eat. We'll likely even explore something I created called luxurious minimalism. [00:30:22] Speaker B: But then how to kiss, how to say no. How to say yes if it's something you want. How to open yourself to more rewarding. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Sexual experiences, how to give more of yourself to others, how to receive. We'll dive deep into the complexity and importance of the female orgasm, how it works, and even explore the female sexual response cycle. We'll learn how to deeply turn into a woman's body and make her spill and come. We'll learn about something else I created called deep listening. [00:30:50] Speaker B: What about subjects like pornography and the effect it's having on men and women today, and what people expect to be able to do to and with women as a result of that? [00:30:59] Speaker A: We'll look at monogamy, polyamory, and everything in between, and understand what lifestyle choices like this mean and how each one has its own imperfections and benefits. We all think we were born one way, but sometimes our actions, our thoughts, and our desires show otherwise. Cheating and betrayal is another vastly important subject. [00:31:18] Speaker B: The experience of being cheated on, or being the one who's doing the cheating and how different those two feelings are. One is devastating, and in many cases, one for the other person is completely fulfilling or fulfilling one of their needs at the time. We could dive deep into the mentality about how both men and women perceive cheating and what it means about their relationship. What about the powerful effects and aftermath of the MeToo movement, how it's brought to light so much and given women a platform to have a voice to express some truly unspeakable things. What an eye opening time to be alive and a place for us as men to be more compassionate, sensitive, receptive, understanding, aware, awake and present? And then, as with everything, the shadow side of that? What about those people who have been falsely accused and the devastating effects that can have on their life, their community, and their relationships? What about the girl who cries Wolf? [00:32:15] Speaker A: How can men and women both be authentically sensitive to both sides of this without minimizing anyone else's tragic or horrible experience and without taking away from the power of the movement? Is it possible to have it all? [00:32:29] Speaker B: Is it possible to have love, family. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Loyalty, partnership, parenthood, and have great, passionate sex? [00:32:35] Speaker B: Or is it inevitable that we have to sacrifice something? And if we do have to sacrifice, is that okay? Is that part of how the world works? What is it about women that makes them look for men that they can fix? And why are they so attracted to bad boys? [00:32:49] Speaker A: Why do women love and need attention so much? And sometimes it feels as though it's never enough? And what kind of trouble does that get everyone in? Why are men so hungry and thirsty for the affection and attention of other women, even when we have someone who loves us? What about having sex with someone on the first date? Do you see a difference between doing that versus having 24, 48, or 72 hours transpire? What makes it right or wrong? And what makes it comfortable for you or not? [00:33:19] Speaker B: What are some things you might think about or do before you have sex with someone for the first time? [00:33:24] Speaker A: What does it mean when you have sex with someone on the first date? Does that mean they're yours? Does that mean you're dating and together? Does that mean anything? Does your reptilian brain try to exert ownership over them? Who should pay on the first date and the second, and the third and the fourth? Who should pay when you're in a relationship and when you're married? And why? And do the beliefs that you have about that serve only you? And what is chivalry? Which side of the camp do you fall on that men should constantly take care of women, or that women are independent and they should take care of themselves? Are you selectively traditional and old fashioned in a way that only works for yourself? [00:34:02] Speaker B: Do you want and expect men to do things for you, pay for things for you, take care of you, and just provide without the rest of the traditional and old fashioned mentality that went along with that, such as staying at home all day, rearing children, or washing dishes and doing laundry? Do you have completely different expectations when it comes to being married than you do if you're just boyfriend and girlfriend? Sometimes women will tend to connect shame around the number of men they've slept with in the past and or how and when they lost their virginity? Why do women feel the need to connect shame with sex so much more than men do? And is there a way out of that? And can you say more than, or think more deeply about it than simply saying, it's the media, or it's in. [00:34:44] Speaker A: The magazines, or that's just the way it is, or, heaven forbid, it is what it is? [00:34:50] Speaker B: How do you make your sensual or sexual intentions clear from the beginning so that you don't get stuck in the friend zone? But how do you not frighten your partner away when they ask you what your intentions are and you tell them it's to be intimate with you? How do you authentically say, I want to see where this is going, I want to explore this with you before I make that choice. Is it really possible to have friends. [00:35:10] Speaker A: With benefits without someone getting hurt, without someone wanting more, and without someone feeling less than? Can you really have friends of the opposite sex? [00:35:21] Speaker B: How has online dating completely changed and in some ways, devastated the way we explore sex today? Are other people more disposable to you now because you can swipe right, swipe left, unmatch, or block them? Would your parents or your best friends be proud of your online behavior? And do you care? Are you the kind of person who, when you're done talking to someone, you just stop responding to their texts and phone calls without ever giving another explanation as to why or what happened? Do you have a way of responding or reacting to things that no one seems to like, but you do it anyway? Do you run? Do you yell? Do you disappear and ghost, and do you do that over and over again? Are you always away from your phone? Is it difficult to get a hold of you? Do you have your notifications shut off? Do you not check your voicemail? Do you not return phone calls? Do you return messages by saying, sorry, I was busy, but not say anything else? Do you not have your own voicemail set up because you hate the sound of your own voice, forcing every single person who calls you to listen to a voicemail of a lady that was recorded 20 years ago? When you have finished recording, simply hang. [00:36:26] Speaker A: Up or press the pound key for further option. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Come on. [00:36:30] Speaker A: What is the world to you, and. [00:36:32] Speaker B: How do you see it? Is it a battlefield, a game, or a war zone? Is it your oyster? Your playground? Your merrygoround? Your fertile field for manifestation and creation? How do you go down on a woman, and how do you do it well? How do you satisfy her beyond belief? How do you make sure that a woman whose mind is always changing and emotions are always shifting, how can you keep her deliciously satisfied? How do you say no in today's world? Are you able to let your voice come through? Can you speak your truth? Can you clearly communicate to someone what you do and don't want? And no, I don't just mean women here. And if the other person is being considerate and respectful toward you, are you able to return the same respect and consideration with your no and possibly helping them understand why you feel that way? Do you expect them to run away in the opposite direction? Or can you have an authentic, warm conversation briefly about why you feel the way you do? How do you receive a no? Are you kind and receptive and patient? Do you get angry and offended and insult or yell at the other person? How do you receive rejection? And if you're someone who never puts yourself in the place of being rejected, can you imagine how your words and attitude might affect the people who you're rejecting? If you're someone who gets approached on a daily basis all the time, and. [00:37:54] Speaker A: If you're a woman, you probably get approached and looked at on a daily basis all the time. Have you made the people who approach you disposable? Or do you make them feel bad or guilty for even looking in your direction? Are you over it? Is it too much attention? Are they a dime a dozen? And do you not care about how they might feel when you just brush them off, ignore them, or never get back to them? [00:38:15] Speaker B: How many times a day would you say you have authentic connection with someone? How many times a day or week would you like to be having sex? Would you like to know how to turn a woman on with decisiveness, simply by making choices and decisions? Would you like to find out when your partner's on the way out of the relationship? How about getting involved with someone who has kids or a child already, and what that means for you and how you'll be entering into that relationship? Who comes first and who will always come first? How do you read somebody? How do you sense their body language and respect their boundaries? How do you know if they want to explore more? And how can you start a conversation about it? How do you make your presence felt so strongly that a person feels a wave of pleasurable electricity run through their body in desire and anticipation for you? [00:39:02] Speaker A: How do you make a woman get wet, soaking wet, just by being in your presence? [00:39:09] Speaker B: How do you really have great sex? What does that mean? How do you really turn someone on. [00:39:15] Speaker A: For a long time. [00:39:16] Speaker B: How do you make her want you over and over and over again? How do you unlock her body's potential? How do you flirt, touch, play, kiss, tease? How do you tease a woman? Did you think that you knew all there was to know about closeness, intimacy, and sex? [00:39:37] Speaker A: It's a lot to consider. [00:39:39] Speaker B: If you're in pain about something, you had better believe that tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people are in pain about the same thing and need to hear the same answer. And so, too, on the pleasurable side. If you've always wanted to learn how to have your first orgasm or how to pleasure someone else, you better believe millions of people want to know. When you ask a phenomenal question, it leaves room for a fantastic answer. Questions are the doorway to how we learn. If more and more people get on board with treating each other better and it feels good to do so, and we see that that's reinforced and that we like the way we feel about ourselves and we like making other people feel good, how can that not be a life changing, world changing opportunity? My promise to you going forward is that if it's within my knowledge, my ability, or my toolbox, if I can speak to it from a place of intelligence, depth, and personal experience, I will. And if it's not, I won't pretend to know. Lastly, and going forward, as you make your way through all of these future episodes, I want to invite you to. [00:40:46] Speaker A: Be less reactionary, less reactionary, and more responsive. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Everybody has a reaction today. We are running around every day in survival mode. Someone says one thing and we just lose it. How about a few deep breaths, taking it in? [00:41:06] Speaker A: We're talking about very deep, very emotional. [00:41:09] Speaker B: And sometimes very unconscious subjects. [00:41:11] Speaker A: It can stir a lot up. [00:41:13] Speaker B: It can really get you going and can really make you think. So a tool that might help you along your way is a journal, or at the very least, your notes application on your phone where you can jot down some ideas to come back to. And during a lot of these podcasts, I invite you to pause and reflect, maybe not consume them at one and a half or two times the speed. Sometimes more is less. If you can really take these concepts in and they can shift who you are as a being, you'll be amazed at the results. I hope that these podcasts bring you closer to knowing yourself, and I hope that it gives you a deeper connection with those around you. Something magnetic and electric, something that goes deeper than surface level acquaintances, and that is closeness. Thank you. This podcast can be found on Spotify iTunes, Google Play, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Deezer, and YouTube. And of course, you can always listen to it on our enhanced website with [email protected] on the Get Closeness website. [00:42:18] Speaker A: You can also sign up for in person or online coaching, as well as get many of your questions answered on the Closeness podcast. [00:42:25] Speaker B: Whichever path you choose, I'm excited to have you join us, and I can't wait to get started. [00:42:31] Speaker A: Thank you for listening. We hope you've enjoyed this immensely. [00:42:35] Speaker B: If you've been touched by what you've heard here today, or this has made a measurable difference in the quality of your life or sex life, please consider donating to our [email protected] closeness. All of these links can be found in the description. Until next time, stay close.